feedback for "Editor's Note 1: It Takes a Village (To Judge You)"

1. great column! so true.

   posted by : lh on 12/13/2006 at 1:43 PM Flag For Abuse

2. When I was about three months pregnant and finishing grad school in Boston, my husband and visited our upstairs neighbors, a couple who were probably the most interesting and progressive people we met in that city. But I'll never forget the look on her face when I told them I was pregnant: it was as if someone had farted! And not a word, of congratulations or otherwise.

   posted by : jonelle on 12/14/2006 at 1:02 PM Flag For Abuse

3. The most appalling to me is "are you keeping it?"
   
   sigh
   
   Why on earth would I tell you I was pregnant if I WASNT keeping "it"...and furthermore... what kind of a question is that?   The baby isnt a fruitcake.
   
   
   
   

   posted by : urbanbrat89 on 12/18/2006 at 3:48 PM Flag For Abuse

4. Oh my gosh-this is so dead on about what happens once you start telling people you are pregnant. I think you're right in that people only tell you their advice b/c it's like they feel threatened if you were to choose to (God forbid) doing things any differently than they choose to. Surprisingly, the most asinine comments I received while pregnant were from OTHER MOMS! Here's some of my favs: "You're having a girl b/c you're fat all over..." (as I worked out 5 days a week and ate nothing but lean cuisines) or "oh you're having a girl b/c your boobs are so big." (This was from a co-worker in the middle of the hall at work.) Even after the child is born, it's like you have "PLEASE TELL ME YOUR BIRTHING STORIES" across your forehead. It is unbelievable. CONGRATS on your baby boy and tell those people to go find something better to do with their time.

   posted by : BChaps on 12/20/2006 at 1:48 PM Flag For Abuse

5. Great article.  It helps me to remember to blow off the inappropriate random comments from people.  My boss had a great response when I told him I was expecting.  "I figured," he told me.  Nice.  My mother told me that her boss at the time she was pregnant with me in 1975 told her, "That's disgusting".  I guess sometimes the silence is better than any comment people can come up with.

    

   Oh, and urbanbrat89, I had a dream that when I told my boss he said, "You're not keeping it, are you?".  But I never had anyone say that out loud to me!!  Did you smack them?

   posted by : kymbny on 12/20/2006 at 4:08 PM Flag For Abuse

6. The day I planned to announce to the world that I was pregnant (my first trimester was finally coming to an end) was also the day I found out we were having twins.  When I called my friends to tell them that I was pregnant, I didn't get much of a rise out of them at all - in fact, it was quite disappointing.  I felt as if every night for the past few weeks they were waiting for my call.  But sure it wasn't that first punch, "I'm pregnant" that was the knock out - it was the "...and I'm pregnant with twins."

    

   My two best responses:

    

   1.  Holy shit.  I feel like I need to lie down and eat a piece of chocolate cake.

   2.  Jillian, you always were an over achiever.

   posted by : JillianSuz74 on 12/23/2006 at 2:31 PM Flag For Abuse

7. I get "WOW, you are getting BIG" and "I was twice your size, you need to feed that baby" in the same day.  I don't know why people think it's okay to tell you that you are BIG-even when you know you aren't big-it's kind of offensive. 

    

   Then people ask you if you are going to breastfeed, then when you say yes, they smirk and say "yeah, wait until you feel the pain" and other discouraging things.

    

   Oh and also they love to tell you what a huge baby you're going to have, like that's comforting or something.

    

   Luckily, as many rude things as people say, there are more people that are incredibly nice to you all the time, just because you're pregnant.  I'm going to miss that.

   posted by : lilmissyny on 1/24/2007 at 8:33 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Ada, how do you deal with those lunatics?

   posted by : Esmerelda on 3/20/2007 at 10:40 AM Flag For Abuse

9. The worst thing I've heard came from a friend I hadn't seen in a couple months who said (on the phone) "So, uh... are you still pregnant?"  What?!?!  What if I wasn't - had actually lost the baby?  What a devastating thing that would be to hear!
   

   posted by : honeybee on 5/31/2007 at 2:32 AM Flag For Abuse