feedback for "Repeat Engagement"
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Yeah, that's what every kid wants for a father - a "galavanting
bachelor" who feels like dad "the way a Sunday angler calls himself a
fisherman", who couldn't bother to be present at the birth or live in
the same city. This kid is on a collision course with a confusing sense
of identity and a life peppered with selfish, fair-weather role models,
you're worried about his affect on your dating life?
Grow a pair and become a real part of your child's life, or go the hell
away so you're not a confusing and inconsistent influence on him. For
Pete's sake, don't create another until you intend to dedicate your
life to him. Children deserve no less.
posted by : darktex on 1/6/2007 at 12:13 PM Flag For Abuse
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darktex, i think you are jumping to conclusions. this child has two loving mothers and loving father who visit periodically. sounds like a richer childhood than many children have. thank you for the candid essay ... it's clearly not a simple situation, and it could become more complex still, but it sounds like you have a good handle on it.
posted by : Papaganoose on 1/7/2007 at 9:15 PM Flag For Abuse
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A point of clarification for darktex from one of the two "mommies" We did not ask Jack to be present at the birth, nor did we ever discuss either of us moving to all live in the same city. Our relationship works well as is and Jack truely is "a part of [his] child's life" I think perhaps you are missing one of the points of the article -- what alternatives to traditional parenting can look like. You are measuring our experience against a traditional model; it is not that.
posted by : betsyc on 1/8/2007 at 11:31 AM Flag For Abuse
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Things are so very rarely either/or. I'm sure there is truth to both viewpoints.
Thanks for your candid article and the thought-provoking comments.
posted by : mlmochi on 1/24/2007 at 10:22 AM Flag For Abuse
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I think it is great that you are a part of your sons life at all....much more than some kids get...Much more than my son gets.
I also think it is great that you have given two obviously very commited women the opportunity to be parents.
It may not be a traditional family...But it sure is a family.
I would marry you if I didnt live 3000 miles away...LOL
posted by : JuliansMom on 1/25/2007 at 2:51 PM Flag For Abuse
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when my now husband and i were dating, friends of ours, a lesbian couple, asked if i was ok with us (well, him, technically) helping them have a kidlet. it was an incredible experience, and i feel really just...so happy that i was able to be part of it. at the time, i wasn't personally ready to have any kids, but i still liked them, and i adore our friends, so it was kind of a no-brainer to do it.
there is now a healthy amazing 6-year-old with two incredible parents. for most of that, we were on the opposite coast, so...it's never that he was supposed to parent. we are moving to the same town as them now, but we will simply join the incredibly loving and extended family circle.
posted by : Alicia on 1/26/2007 at 7:58 PM Flag For Abuse
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I'm reading this 2 years later and would love to know if you did have another with your lesbian friends and whether you ever started a family of your own?
posted by : curious on 6/19/2009 at 2:37 PM Flag For Abuse
