feedback for "Train Wreck"

1. Excellent article!!
   
   By this point, The Book had become my sworn enemy. Sleep training requires the shutting-off of the instinct to go to a crying baby, and in following the Sleep Lady, I'd shut off not just that instinct, but all of them.
   
   
   .. amen sister.
   
   Thank you for writing this.
   
   

   posted by : CrankMama on 1/11/2007 at 11:51 PM Flag For Abuse

2. I feel like I haven't had a full night sleep since Dec. 2003 when I got pregnant.  I've tried everything...Ferber, Weissbluth, Pantley.  Now, at this very moment we are trying to get our two boys (27 months and 9 months) to sleep in one room for the first time. The baby has been in our room, and it's killing me to breastfeed in the middle of the night.  So I'm hoping that this room transfer will start to do the trick.  But then again, the 27 month old has his own issues...he won't go to sleep and wakes up at 5 am. We're trying to convince him he has to stay quiet so that he doesn't wake his brother.  So we'll either solve both of their problems, or make it worse.  Cross your fingers.

   posted by : Mama on 1/12/2007 at 7:44 PM Flag For Abuse

3. This article illustrates for me the fact that no program is one-size-fits-all.  I came across the Sleep Lady when my daughter was 5 months old, and it was a godsend, but I really feel you have to be dedicated to a program, whatever it is, to make it work for you.  I wasn't willing to cosleep, we had snack-and-snooze issues that were making life hell, and Ferber seemed too callous.  I was at the end of my rope.  It wasn't always easy, but it was worthwhile for us.

   posted by : CaraInExile on 1/15/2007 at 7:43 PM Flag For Abuse

4. Great Article!  I have yet to read a book on parenting or sleep, etc. that isn't condescending.  They all claim to have a one size fits all solution.  While it's helpful to talk with other parents or learn what is going on developmentally with my baby, I think that parenting is about trial and error and I always believe in trusting my own instinct.

   posted by : Camille on 1/20/2007 at 8:03 PM Flag For Abuse

5. As young mothers, we are taught or it is presumed that infants awaken because they are hungry, and therefore, feeding is the normal middle of the night practice.   But how many of us question whether infants awaken not because they are hungry, but because they are lonely for the womb?   It's difficult to imagine that an infant could arrive safely in the world and not miss such a cozy atmosphere, along with the maternal biology it had previously had. Perhaps this is why co-sleeping of mother and infant works so well.   But it may not be necessary after all, though it has yet to be tested.   If a body-temperature hot water bottle or some such "substitute" is placed with a child when sleeping, perhaps there is not the compulsion to awaken through a sense of absence, and it's possible that the senses of an infant can be trained to fool his or her brain into thinking the mother is there when she isn't, hence, perhaps allowing the mother the rest she may need, alone, or with her spouse.   Since Doctors are not apt to imagine the sensations that infants have when they awaken every 2-3 hours, it's possible that they have been mistaken all along, and what the child misses is mommy, not food. After all, the child spent 9 mos intrauterine without the ability to express its food needs.   It would be interesting if mother's could try this, and announce their success with it to see if it makes a difference. Perhaps they might be able to miss one but not two anticipated feedings. It's an interesting experiment for baby and for Moms.    

   posted by : pbr90 on 10/21/2007 at 9:36 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Oh my goodness - since starting to follow blogs etc  2 years ago with the start of pregnancy, I have never read such a fabulous article - one with which I completely identify.  I wish I could have been so eloquent and convinced husband and in-laws that maybe I had the 'instinct' of her mother to know what would work with my baby or not.  
   
   
   I think every mother knows her child - not to lessen the fathers' role any, and that crying patterns don't have to be studied or challenged, just attended to naturally - and every day (and night) goes along calmly (I admit sometimes frustratingly/tiredly for the mother) till the end appears and everyone forgets it was ever difficult!
   I know I can't even remember wandering round the house at 3am with my 2 month old on my shoulder - although my husband will identify the exact days for me.  
   
   
   Life is short, take the cuddles and kisses and adoration while you can.
   
   

   posted by : CocoSB on 1/20/2008 at 10:16 PM Flag For Abuse

7. As usual Americans have to over analyze and get wound up over everything including the amount of sleep a baby gets. The gist of this is that you have to do what works for you and that might be different from what works for many other moms. My experience with nursing is that if you choose to nurse at night it is very unlikely you will have a good sleeper on your hands before the age of a year or year and a half. If you go into it with this attitude then sign up for the sleep deprivation and don;t have qualms with cosleeping with your baby and try to get any sleep anywhere you can. Some on demand breast feeding moms are lucky that their kids sleep well early and some can follow the sleep advice books and get their kids to sleep. Others cannot. My first was a preemie and I had to bottle feed  and supplement with pumped milk. He gained weight and was sleepign through the night at 3 months and was always a good sleeper...I was just lucky not anything I did. But having him on a bottle at times helped too and made me realize that its easier to regulate night sleep with a bottle feed. My second was exclusively bf and he had HUGE sleep issues. By the time he was a month old I knew that night time bf was not going to work for me bc it was going to be a case of him nursing every 45 mins aroudn the clock and he would most likely do it even at 6 -7 months old. Put another way I was not willing to take that chance and I did not want to sign up for a year of bf martyrdom and zombiehood from lack of sleep. So I nursed during the day and stopped bf after 5 pm and it was bottles through the night. He went longer and longer between bottles and after a week he was down to 2 bottles a night and by 4 months he was sleepign 7 hours without a bottle. I never had to use ferber or any other method. He got breast milk and formula and he was fine. I was fine and rested and could be a mother to a toddler and a baby! What worked for me is bf during the day and bottles of formula at night and a baby that learned to sleep through the night early on. So yes I don't advocate exclusive bf as the be all and end all of infant nutrition and maternal happiness. So sue me.
   Sadly in our culture its always angst and handwringing over these kinds of decisions. My kids are older now and I feel that the amount of time we waste over these kinds of parenting choices and condemn others for their choices is so stupid. Your baby is goign to be more impacted by the quality of 13 years of schooling and the choices made at that time of life rather than whether they got breast milk or formula or if their brain cells are lost due to less sleep in the first year of life! Seriously. Worry about the quality of math education in our country...the poisoning of our food supply...why there are so many kids with autism...
   
   

   posted by : marsupial on 4/17/2009 at 1:39 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Marsupial, great points!  I so agree about all the more important worries down the road and why we agonize so much over these bf and sleep issues.  Just do what works!  By the time you've changed your "system" or "plan", the baby is another month older and has different food/sleep needs.  It all changes so constantly in the first year of life, that it's crazy to try to keep implementing any one system.
   
   I 100% agree about bf in the day and formula at night.  I did exactly the same with great success.  My son bf constantly for the first 2 months of his life (I mean constantly), and then I introduced a bottle of formula in the evening before he went down, and then one more in the middle of the night.  He went straight to waking up just the once for a bottle at about 2 AM, and that was it.  It worked so well.  I recommend it to anyone.
   
   

   posted by : mom to one on 6/25/2009 at 9:41 AM Flag For Abuse

9. I tried every method available and nothing worked for my baby.  He started sleeping throught the night when he turned 14 months old.  When he was first born he will wake up about 4 times at night and then he started waking up once at night until 14 months old.  I refuse to read any books written by the so called experts because they think they know every single baby and I think EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT.  I gave my baby formula and he still woke up and then cereal but still woke up and I was hurting because I was and still work full-time.  I think that my baby waking up at night was perfectly normal for him and I do not expect my future kids to be the same way because EVERY BABY IS DIFERRENT.  I wish that Sleep Lady and all the "experts" get that in their heads one day. 

   posted by : rstgoyam on 9/23/2009 at 4:57 PM Flag For Abuse