Bad Parent: Diamonds are for Labor
How the push present craze won me over.
by Jennifer Blaise Kramer
January 8, 2009
The names alone are pretty crass: push present, push prize, baby bauble, baby mama gift. They all refer to the jewelry (or in some cases, the top-of-the-line handbags) a husband is supposed to give his wife after she gives birth. Often men have never heard of this rite until they're warned not to show up to the delivery room without something glittering in hand.
The first time I heard the concept was about five years ago. The story was actually quite endearing. A friend had an emergency C-section and the doctor told her to remove all her jewelry so it wouldn't need to be cut it off if the swelling got worse. Two days and one healthy baby girl later, her husband returned bearing take out and a sweet surprise. He put on her wedding rings and then slipped on another he'd had made to match the wedding band, with diamonds all around. She was floored. I could see why.
But as the years passed, the story got a little old. And so did all my friends' similar stories: another baby, another diamond. Once I met a friend-turned-mother for lunch and she came walking up, smiling into the carriage. I oohed and aahed over the newborn. Then my friend flashed her newly acquired third ring, as if expecting just as much enthusiasm.
Suddenly, the idea seemed so contrived.
I started feeling bad for the guys.
As if I'd be waiting to hear what my friends got — a ring, a watch, earrings for twins — rather than whether they had a boy or a girl. And while a token of appreciation for carrying a child seems sweet, I started feeling bad for the guys. Gone was the simplicity I'd imagined, the bouquet of flowers or the pink or blue balloons on the mailbox. This push present phenomenon puts dads-to-be in a tricky predicament; if they don't get her anything, they're insensitive or cheap, and if they do, they're a cliché, just checking off a box on a to-do list.
I shared my irritation about the matter with my husband. He seemed relieved and agreed it felt a little forced.
When my time rolled around a couple of years later, I reminded my husband not to get caught up in the push present peer pressure, even though hauling around an extra fifty pounds in the tenth month made me wonder if a medal would be out of the question.
©2009 Jennifer Blaise Kramer and Babble
About the Author
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Jennifer Blaise Kramer is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in the Boston Globe, Boston Magazine and National Geographic Traveler. She lives in Cambridge, Massachusetts, with her husband, daughter and black lab.
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