My Illegal Home Birth
Giving birth at home was weird, magical — and a felony.
by Madeline Holler
June 23, 2008
In my first few appointments, I took all the worst labor and delivery
stories I had heard of or seen on TV to Alice and asked what she would
do. Umbilical cord wrapped around the baby's neck? (You slip it off. It
happens in about twenty-five percent of all births.)
What about a head that's
stuck? (That happens when you're flat on your back. You need to be up to
push the baby out.) What if the cord slips out before the baby? (We go
straight to the hospital.) Bleeding? (Hospital.) Premature labor?
(Hospital.) If can't stand the contractions? (Get in the tub.) If I
change my mind at the last minute and want to go to the hospital?
(Hospital.)
Each appointment lasted well over an hour.
There were trade-offs in going off the grid to have a baby.
My due date came and went with this pregnancy as it had with my first, but post-date pregnancy did not
concern Alice. "Some babies just take longer," she said. Still, at the
end of week forty-two, she wanted to perform a test to ensure the baby was
doing fine. I had done "stress tests" with my first. Then, I sat
comfortably on an exam table with a fetal heart monitor strapped across
my belly and another belt sensing pre-labor contractions. I held a
joystick with a button that I was to depress any time I felt the baby
kick. The test determined whether the baby's heart rate accelerated, as
it is supposed to during contractions or after it kicked. Acceleration
meant all was well.
"Some babies just take longer," Alice said.
Alice's low-tech stress test required me to manually stimulate my
nipples to bring on pre-labor contractions for her to monitor. My
husband played with my daughter across the room, as I self-consciously
reclined in her sofa to fondle my breasts. Alice waited at my knees with
the fetal heart monitor, one hand resting on my stomach to feel the
onset of a contraction. It was weird.
No doctor meant I couldn't get a flu shot, since clinics required
written permission from pregnant women's doctors. And in any case, Alice
adamantly opposed inoculations of all kinds. She also shunned most
medications, preferring homeopathic remedies. And sure, flaxseed oil and
white oak bark alleviated constipation and hemorrhoids. But for a rash
on my breasts, why yogurt in my bra? Couldn't I just use an ointment?
©2008 Madeline Holler and Babble
About the Author
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Madeline Holler is a writer and mother of two. She lives in Long Beach, California. |
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