The $204,000 Question
Are you ever financially ready to have a baby?
by Jeanne Sager
June 23, 2009
One piece of advice stuck in my head when my husband and I decided it was time to start "trying" for a baby: my father's directive, "If you're waiting to be financially ready to have a baby, you'll never have a baby. So just have one!"
Turns out the experts are on his side. The numbers are daunting — but odds are you can make it work. In this report (pdf), the USDA estimates a middle class family will spend more than $204,000 to raise a child to adulthood (not including college tuition).
Considering a middle-income family makes an average of $61,000 before taxes, it's not hard to imagine few have an extra $204,000 lying around. It's no wonder a Charles Schwab/Baby Center survey in 2007 found that forty percent of women delay pregnancy because of financial concerns.
But that hasn't stopped babies from coming. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, that same year mothers aired their financial dirty laundry was the year the United States had its highest number of births — ever. In 2007, there were 4,315,000 children born. That's 15,000 more births than the peak time of the baby boom in 1957.
Were any of those parents ready? Maybe, maybe not. The good news is, you can be — even if you aren't right at this very moment. We spoke to a slew of experts and came up with these seven key steps to easing your pre-baby financial anxiety.
1. TALK HONESTLY WITH YOUR PARTNER ABOUT MONEY
Couples who traditionally keep their finances separate or don't talk much about the division of costs have more trouble having an open and honest discussion about what's to come. Now's the time to throw pre-conceived notions out the window, along with privacy concerns.
"A baby changes everything about your life — sleep schedules, priorities, your social life, your financial status, and the primary couple relationship," says California psychotherapist Tina Tessina, PhD., author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage. "These changes happen overnight, because the day a baby is born, everything is different from the day before. There is no way to accurately predict how these changes will feel, and the learning curve for new parents is very steep. Planning ahead for what you can anticipate, like finances, helps make the transition easier.
©2009 Jeanne Sager and Babble
About the Author
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Jeanne Sager is a freelance writer and photographer living in upstate New York with her husband and daughter, Jillian. She maintains a blog of her award-winning columns at jeannesager.blogspot.com. |
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