It’s always a struggle to figure out the perfect end of year teacher gift. Do you go with a simple gift card? Just pitch in on the class gift? What about specialty gourmet ice cream flown in from an artisan ice creamery in Montana because you heard them mention they like chocolate ice cream that one time? I know. It’s hard to decide. So rather than give you suggestions on what to get, I thought I’d help by telling you what they probably won’t enjoy.
1. A photo of your child blown up to poster size. Yes, his teacher likes him but not that much.
2. An iTunes gift card for 10 bucks. I mean unless your kid’s teacher is 16 (in which case you should pitch a Doogie Howser remake with a teacher instead of a doctor).
3. A card that says, “Yeah, thanks for doing your job.”
4. You showing up in your nicest pajama pants for the last day of school drop off and pick-up.
5. A Nickelback CD.
6. 4 booster credits for Candy Crush. Actually, in some cases, this might be a great gift.
7. A half bottle of your kid’s left over Ritalin.
8. Edible erasers.
9. A gift certificate for a session of “classy boudoir photography.”