Sooner or later, your child will inform you that you are, undoubtedly, the worst mom ever. Yep, you have been given the dubious distinction of being the suckiest mom in the history of moms.
What’s a mother to say? Traditionally, it hasn’t been easy coming up with a good answer—until now. Here are ten of ‘em, guaranteed to prove your kids wrong, or at least stump them into silence.
Tactic #1: Demand proof 1 of 11
"Are you sure about that? I need to see factual evidence, so check with your sources and get back to me."
Image source: Flickr/Sharon Mollerus
Tactic #2: Guilt 2 of 11
"How can you say that I'm the worst mom ever after all the things I do for you every single day? I am actually the BEST mom ever! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"
Image source: Flickr/Phil41dean
Tactic #3: Pull rank 3 of 11
"That's an extremely rude thing to say, young man. Go to your room and think it over, and come out when you're ready to apologize, preferably before college."
Image source: Flickr/HeyitsyOu
Tactic #4: Evasion 4 of 11
"Hmmm...dear...what did you say? You want liverwurst forever?"
Image source: Flickr/lonelydimple
Tactic #5: Intellectualize it 5 of 11
"Given the fact that there are approximately 85.4 million mothers in The United States, based on the most recent census data, it's a little hard to believe that 85,399,999 other mothers are better than me."
Image source: Flickr/plasticrevolver
Tactic #6: Comic relief 6 of 11
"Does your mom know that you say things like that? Oh, wait."
"Can I get a Worst Mom Ever plaque? Or at least a t-shirt?"
Image source: Flickr/Jaysmark
Tactic #7: Revenge fantasy 7 of 11
"WELL THAT'S FINE BECAUSE YOU'RE THE WORST KID EVER!" *
* Thought you keep on the inside
Image source: Flickr/Ralph Hogaboom
Tactic #8: Compare and contrast 8 of 11
"Go Google 'Octomom' and get back to me."
Image source: Flickr/Geomangio
Tactic #9: Commiserate 9 of 11
"Given that Amazon isn't yet selling mothers, you're stuck with me. Sorry about that."
Image source: Flickr/Rolands.lakis
Tactic #10: Deflect 10 of 11
"Please refer all comments and concerns to my publicist."
Image source: Flickr/David Salafia
P.S. 11 of 11
You actually can get the t-shirt.
Image source: Cafe Press