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10 Reasons I Knew He Was the One

Because we run a large marriage and parenting site and we produce movies on marriage, people want to know our story.  They want to know how we met and  when did we know that we had “the one.”  Of course, our answers are different, as we’ve had different journeys that led us to each other.

Lamar and I were engaged after dating for 11 months.  He planned a very romantic proposal for me.  He wanted to take me for a walk along a beautiful waterfront that had walking paths and benches in order to propose to me there.  But on the day of the proposal, I was not agreeable. I would not get out of the car. I was tired, it was cold, and I just wanted to go home and chill.  So, we went back to his place to chill. He put the ring on a necklace and as we lay down watching a movie, I discovered the ring. I don’t even think he asked me to marry him. I just jumped up, grabbed the ring and said: “Yes,  Yes, Yes, Yes…”

But what made me so sure? My the last relationship was not good (to put it mildly).  I spent a very long time in a relationship that was not good for me. And although everyone else could see that it was not good, I could not.  So how could I trust my judgement now?  How could I let my wall down and trust Lamar?  Why was I so confident that I was making that right decision with Lamar?  Here are 10 reasons why I knew Lamar was the one:

 


  • 1. There was no guessing. He was committed to me. 1 of 10
    1. There was no guessing. He was committed to me.
    After dating for a couple of months, Lamar said that he wanted to be in an exclusive relationship with me. That's right..he asked me to be his girlfriend. He was not "acting " like my boyfriend, but leaving his options open. I didn't have to guess about the status of my relationship. (Come on ladies...I know some of y'all have been there...feeling and acting like a girlfriend...but not really knowing.) Photo Credit: Ronnie Tyler
  • 2. He broke down my wall. 2 of 10
    2. He broke down my wall.
    Lamar likes to remind me that I had a wall up when we started dating. But he was patient, loving and kind. And he eventually broke down my wall. It felt good to relax and trust someone with my heart. Photo Credit: Lamar Tyler
  • 3. He is a family man. 3 of 10
    3. He is a family man.
    He went to church with me and my family. He went to family reunions. He hung out with my kids and me. Family was important to Lamar and he did not mind being around my family (and we certainly have some characters.) Photo Credit: Sherrelle Andrews
  • 4. He has faith in God. 4 of 10
    4.  He has faith in God.
    Lamar didn't just say he was a child of God, he displayed it in his actions. It was very important to me that my spouse shared the same belief system as me. I tried dating someone that did not believe the same as me. And for me, it was a big mistake. Photo Credit: Lamar Tyler
  • 5. He loved my kids. 5 of 10
    5.  He loved my kids.
    Eventually, Lamar got to know my kids. I knew he loved them. We weren't the Brady bunch right away....my son was on the fence about this new man in my life. The adjustment was not easy...but Lamar did not run for the hills. Photo Credit: Daryl Brown
  • 6. He showed me that being with me was enough. 6 of 10
    6. He showed me that being with me was enough.
    No matter what I was doing (hanging with family, doing things with the kids, cleaning the house, or doing nothing) Lamar was right there...and he was present too. He was not distracted and he was not rushing me to be finished. Photo Credit: Eric Payne
  • 7. He wouldn’t let me break up with him. 7 of 10
    7. He wouldn't let me break up with him.
    I broke up with him after a huge argument. I was DONE. The next day, he sent me flowers. And we started talking again. He wasn't afraid to be vulnerable with me. He definitely showed me that he wanted to resolve our problems and make our relationship work. It was a good indication of how we would be able to work on our problems. Photo Credit: Lamar Tyler
  • 8. He worked hard. 8 of 10
    8. He worked hard.
    Lamar has a strong work ethic. He took care of his business and showed me that he could take care of a family too. (Ladies..if you are dating a lazy man....guess what...he will be a lazy husband.) Photo Credit: Lamar Tyler
  • 9. It just felt right. 9 of 10
    9. It just felt right.
    Ladies listen to your intuition and pay attention to those red flags. When, Lamar asked to marry him it felt 100% right. Photo Credit: Harry Washington
  • 10. I had to work on me. 10 of 10
    10. I had to work on me.
    No matter how great a man is, you have to be a whole person. If you are still dealing with a broken heart, drama from past relationships, trust issues, insecurities and unhappiness, then you are not going to be ready for your great man when he comes into your life. Being a good catch has less to do with your bank statement, and more to do with the person that you are. I always tell people that if Lamar had met me a year earlier, he would have ran for the hills for sure. I wasn't ready for him yet. Photo Credit: Harry Washington

 

What made your spouse “the one.”  Leave a comment below and tell Lamar to share what made me “the one.”

Read more from us at our award-winning website BlackandMarriedWithKids.com.

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More Husband Wife Life on Babble:

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5 Ways I Mess Up in My Marriage Every Day

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