It’s a relatively new phenomenon, but all the kids are doing it. It’s all over the media. Books, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Instagram, you name it. The paparazzi would be out of a job without it. Twerking? Nope. The selfie? So mid-August. It’s the School Run, silly.
It’s November. I’ve been doing it for a few months now, and the habit is becoming ingrained in my reptilian mommy brain like a hardcore addiction. From the relentless requests to put on shoes now now now please (WHY do kids avoid shoe-putting-on like the plague?), to the joy of watching my daughter feed her younger brother breakfast from leftover crumbs on the backseat, the morning routine brings it’s own kind of chaos. I may sometimes hate it, but could never give it up. I flock to it like a daily Mommy and Me meets Burning Man.
It’s been the subject of love and hate for a recent spout of books (The Hive, Where’d You Go, Bernadette and even, yes, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy), celebrity gawping (If I see another pic of Elle McPherson or Claudia Schiffer looking way too fabulous for a.m. hours I may need one of the barf bags I keep in the car for the kids) and the subject of searching articles like Anita Naik’s hilarious take on the Huffington Post. There’s even a Twitter Feed called The School Run, which I honestly can’t figure out what it’s about – a meta commentary about the school run if there ever was one.
The School Run is too concrete, literally and figuratively, for me to be meta. Here’s 10 reasons I secretly love it.
**All photos credit dreamstime & Morguefile**
10 Reasons I Why I Secretly School Run 1 of 10
Click through to find out why the daily trek to school isn't really all that bad ...
Free Association 2 of 10
It gives me creative opportunities when I have to give my 6-year-old a feasible alternative to questionable hand gestures thrown at passing cars.
Drivers Ed 3 of 10
I get to hone my driving skills when I'm simultaneously hitting scan on the radio (to satisfy my daughter's request for Taylor Swift while dodging morning talk show DJs droning on about celebrity arrests and boob jobs) and successfully avoiding accidents!
A Life of Their Own 4 of 10
I get to realize my lifelong dream of wearing the same yoga pants everyday until my husband fears they will walk downstairs by themselves, but it doesn't matter because everyone else does same thing.
The Great Leveler 5 of 10
You can always look around and spot someone who had a worse morning than you.
A Day in the Life 6 of 10
... of a lab rat. I get to see how many times it takes driving the same route every day with no new outcome before I snap and begin gnawing on my own limbs.
The Hairy Eyeball 7 of 10
You get a chance to eyeball the teacher in the morning and see if she's still mad at your 6-year-old for asking if she's pregnant.
The Hairy Eyeball II 8 of 10
You get a chance to eyeball the teacher and see if she is indeed pregnant.
Peace Out 9 of 10
I can practice perfecting my alternate Bridget Jones persona by vowing not to flash the lame peace sign to other mothers in the carpool, but do it anyway because it's better than having to explain the middle finger again.
Count My Lucky Stars 10 of 10
... That I get to be around people who can empathize with both the fun and terror that comes with the roller coaster of parenting.