I have not had a drink in over 3 and a half years. I don’t talk about it much but that’s not because I’m not involved in “non-drinking” activities, it’s just because it never feels like I have anything public to say about it. The accidentally well publicized date I got sober is May 22, 2009 so tonight will mark my 4th sober New Year’s Eve. I honestly couldn’t be any happier to not drink this evening and for anyone who can’t imagine even one reason to be happy about a New Year’s sans booze, here are 10 reasons:
1. I will have no hang-over on New Year’s Day beside the emotional one I may have from watching some shitty Lifetime Movie.
2. Think of the money I will save on pricey Champagne! Even the most expensive bottle of Martinelli (1999 was a great year for apples) is still pretty darn cheap.
3. Jan 1, I will remember exactly what Kathy Griffin was wearing (or not wearing). Come to think of it, that might not be the best reason.
4. Not that I plan on going out but if I did have to run out…sobriety check points can kiss my ass! In fact, I might just go for a ride just to give the figurative finger to any cops standing near orange cones. Although, I’m actually all for sobriety check points so that we can keep the roads safe for everyone. On second thought, I won’t flip any birds imaginary or otherwise. The bottom line is that there is no chance of driving drunk, which is a good thing. I don’t want to get into an argument over this so let’s just drop it.
5. I can actually stay awake til midnight and not be passed out by 9:30.
7. Think of all the calories I’ll save — unless of course I start eating the chocolate chips that are calling to me from the kitchen cabinet. Bastards.
8. My husband will respect me in the morning.
9. No chance of puking on and ruining any bathmats.
10. My children will continue to have a sober mom. And that’s the main thing.
Happy New Year.
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