So apparently there was another one of Those Articles this week? Or maybe it was last week and the online frothing carried over to this week, because everywhere I went online I saw headlines that were some riff on Having It All, Or Not Having It All, I Am Also Unclear On What “IT” Is Even Referring To So I Don’t Even Know How To Check If I Have Even Some Of It, Much Less All Of It.
Confession: I didn’t read the article. I know! BAD BABBLE BLOGGER. I heard it was actually quite good, rage-baiting headline aside. But I was just too busy this week. Too busy to read, too busy to care.
1) Something I wrote made it on the front page of HuffPo and went all kabloomy on Reddit and such. Don’t worry, nice Atlantic article, I didn’t read my own post either. I was too terrified that I’d find a belated typo or grammatical error and literally die of shame. LITERALLY.
2) I worked a crazy number of hours on a corporate consulting project — a non-Amalah-related worky project that would probably bore you to tears (LITERALLY) if I told you about it. However, I’m so proud of it and what the hell, myself, because it required a big step outside of my comfort zone, I am kicking ass on it, and it’s made a huge difference for my family, financially now and hopefully financially later, when y’all get bored of listening to me yammer on the Internet once I no longer have cute babies to post pictures of and I have to find myself some real respectable employment.
3) I blew my children’s collective mindholes by taking them to the Lego store so Noah could spend his saved-up tooth fairy money on Lord of the Rings Legos. He lost one of his top front teeth (the other is hanging on by a gross gummy thread) over the weekend and…oh my God. He’s so…OLD, you guys.
4) I met with a child psychologist. Then came home and was met with a Babble Voices discussion thread about moms who steal their kid’s Adderall and gaaaahhhhhDKHGDSOAOW3482&$#$)UDOIsisdfioopsdfaapufheaddesk.
5) Went out for pizza with my family one night because we didn’t have anything to eat at home (LITERALLY. UNLESS YOU COUNT BAKING SODA AND A BAG OF CASHEWS.) because I was too busy to go to the grocery store. Everybody got cupcakes.
6) Wifely duties. Deep conversations. Assorted sundry fun-having with husband.
7) Got ridiculously excited about a package of new cloth diapers. Forgot to move the load of new cloth diapers (and old cloth diapers) to the dryer and had no emergency disposables, so I allowed the baby to go commando for awhile. Cleaned up two pee puddles before spotting the beginnings of his signature Poop Face and frantically grabbed a swim diaper because NO THANK YOU.
8) Used TV as a babysitter. More than once.
9) Nursed my youngest. Cuddled with my oldest. Danced in the kitchen with the middle one. Zillions of hugs back and forth from all combined.
10) Did not spend one actual literal second wondering if I had it all, because DUH.
Isn’t it obvious?
More from Amalah’s West: