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10 Ways Cop Shows Taught Me How to Sell Girl Scout Cookies

Screen Shot 2013-02-08 at 12.35.18 PMThis is my family’s 5th year selling Girl Scout cookies, or as I like to call it “moving product”.  Last year, I wrote a post about how Girl Scout cookies should probably be renamed “Suburban Kryptonite”. I imagine that selling them is a lot like selling drugs as there is no other product quite so addictive. I even re-named Samoas “My own personal brand of heroin” because I am unable to resist them.

Now, you should know up front that I’ve never actually been a drug dealer. I have watched a lot of TV and movies, however. And I came to the conclusion that selling girl scout cookies often feels lot like dealing girl scout cookies.

Example: last year, I actually got a text message from a friend of mine that said: “I need some thin mints. You holding?” And you know I was. I had a case of thin mints in the trunk of my car. And I got that cash.

Here are ten reasons why cop shows have me convinced that I’m actually dealing Girl Scout cookies:

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  • The product is a scarce resource with highly addictive qualities. 1 of 11
    The product is a scarce resource with highly addictive qualities.
    You can only get them a couple of weeks of a year, which makes you crave them more. Sometimes violently. Ever accidentally eaten an entire box of Samoas? LIAR. You have, too. There are only 15 in a box - try stopping at 3. IT CAN'T BE DONE.
  • Youve got to deal with your supplier and your middle men. 2 of 11
    Youve got to deal with your supplier and your middle men.
    In this case, it's your troop leaders, your cookie mom, and the folks who actually make them.
  • Work those connections. 3 of 11
    Work those connections.
    Grandma, neighbors, your mom's boss, the person who brings your mail... No one is off limits to a real entrepreneur.
  • Use what youve got. 4 of 11
    Use what youve got.
    Cuteness, charm, your mom's Facebook friends - all fair game.
  • Hustle is the name of the game. 5 of 11
    Hustle is the name of the game.
    This is business, so be a boss.
  • Claim your territory early. 6 of 11
    Claim your territory early.
    You know there are other Girl Scouts on your block, right? There's only one kind of bird during cookie sales. THE EARLY BIRD. Like Ricky Bobby says: "If you ain't first, you're last."
  • Know who the junkies are. 7 of 11
    Know who the junkies are.
    You need to know who can't say no to Thin Mints. You also need to not care that you just sold one person 16 boxes of cookies that they have no business eating. Then you need to practice your evil laugh.
  • Find weak populations and seek them out. 8 of 11
    Find weak populations and seek them out.
    I bought more Girl Scout cookies while pregnant than any human on the face of the earth. You know who else will always buy cookies? College students. And adult men right before a big game. Get creative!
  • Its not just about sales, its about distribution. 9 of 11
    Its not just about sales, its about distribution.
    Once you've sold the cookies, you have to deliver them. My kid's system is called "I let Mommy and Daddy do all the work".
  • Get that money. 10 of 11
    Get that money.
    Here's how it works: you take the order, the cookies come in and then you make the exchange. Collecting the money is what really makes an entrepreneur. I've heard about troops taking credit cards on their cell phones at booth sales. That is so hard core!
  • Here’s a handy table 11 of 11
    Here's a handy table
    So you have all the reasons in one place.

Please join me here once a week for more Rants in My Pants. You can also find me at Rants from MommylandFacebookTwitter, and being really stupid on Pinterest.

All photos are from: Little Brownie Bakers

More on Babble:

8 homemade Girl Scout cookie recipes — Thin Mints, Samoas, and more!
The 10 biggest secrets parents hide from their kids
7 reasons why it’s good to be a “Mean Mom” 
15 memories from childhood our kids won’t have 
20 totally inappropriate vintage ads involving children

 

 

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