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1000 Perplexing Things About Parenthood, #13-#22

13 Why kids can have a playroom filled with toys and yet, digging for boogers is the one thing that consistently keeps them entertained.

14 How is it that you can love your children so much, but still be that happy when it’s time for them to go to sleep?

15 Why everyone’s so focused on whether Bert on Sesame Street is gay. Hello? Elmo?

16 How anyone’s supposed to trim those itty-bitty nails. Isn’t there an app for that?

17 Babysitters who arrive after your tot is down for the night and charge $18 an hour to sit on your couch, raid your fridge and watch TV. Where can us moms get a job like that? Oh, wait.

18 If watching a lot of TV is so bad for kids, how come you turned out OK?

19 Eeep! Is that diaper crushing his willy? What’s the right way to position that sucker, anyway?

20 Is there a way to get out of throwing your kid a birthday party and if so, what is it?

21 Whose bright idea was it to invent onesies that slip over babies’ heads and make you fear you are going to break their brains every single time?

22 Why don’t kids come preset with an “OFF” button?

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