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16 Hilarious Words to Describe Your Kids During the Holidays

I am dead center in the middle of a little something I call The Holiday Death Spiral. I was pretty sure I lacked the ability to describe just how chaotic and bizarre my house gets this time of year, until I read Eric Ruhalter’s hilarious book (and blog) “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do”.

Who is Eric Ruhalter? Well, he is a BAMF in my humble opinion. He  works in New York City, lives in New Jersey, has a wife, 3 children, and 2 cats. And he makes up awesome words about how our kids are all crazy.

He helped me hand pick 16 that speak specifically to the Holidays. For example:

ASSAULT AND BATTER (uss-ALLT AND BAH-tuhr)  v: To be informed by your child at 8:30 in the morning that they’d volunteered you to prepare 40 cupcakes for their class’s holiday party that day.

CARDBOREDOM (card-BOHR-duhm)  adj : A child’s tendency to ignore a birthday present and instead play with the box it came in.

RAMPAPER (rahm-PAY-puhr) v: To ferociously shred through the gift-wrap on a present with no regard for the festive design nor the time and care that went into wrapping it.

Here are a few more:

nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’3′

  • Cashmosis 1 of 13
    Cashmosis
    What is this word "cash"? I know not of this word...
  • Christmess 2 of 13
    Christmess
    We could fill a dumpster with our debris. We are horrible.
  • Disclausure 3 of 13
    Disclausure
    There is a stiff penalty for this sort of thing at my house.
  • Jingleberry 4 of 13
    Jingleberry
    I saw mommy LICKING Santa Claus.
  • Kodick 5 of 13
    Kodick
    Ugh. This would be funny if it weren't far too true.
  • Nicktronize 6 of 13
    Nicktronize
    Oh, I still do it.
  • Playaway Plan 7 of 13
    Playaway Plan
    For kids younger than preschool age, I say DO IT.
  • Santapede 8 of 13
    Santapede
    My kids will throw elbows.
  • Santastrophe 9 of 13
    Santastrophe
    I actually LOVE to see these pictures.
  • Shirturbed 10 of 13
    Shirturbed
    I love to see pictures of these, too.
  • Sledentary 11 of 13
    Sledentary
    And of course as soon as they get outside, they invariably have to pee.
  • Stayhomophobia 12 of 13
    Stayhomophobia
    OH DEAR GOD. They will be home for 12 days in a row,
  • Treblemaker 13 of 13
    Treblemaker
    My ears are still bleeding from last year's treblemakers.

You can find all these words and from in The Kid Dictionary by Eric Ruhalter . Learn more and watch some awesome videos of the words inside the book at www.TheKidDictionary.com

Please join me here once a week for more Rants in My Pants. You can also find me at Rants from Mommyland, on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Sweet Relish.

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