Welcome to Babble,
Sign Out

Get the Babble Newsletter!

Already have an account? .

16 Hilarious Words to Describe Your Kids During the Holidays

I am dead center in the middle of a little something I call The Holiday Death Spiral. I was pretty sure I lacked the ability to describe just how chaotic and bizarre my house gets this time of year, until I read Eric Ruhalter’s hilarious book (and blog) “The Kid Dictionary: Hilarious Words to Describe the Indescribable Things Kids Do”.

Who is Eric Ruhalter? Well, he is a BAMF in my humble opinion. He  works in New York City, lives in New Jersey, has a wife, 3 children, and 2 cats. And he makes up awesome words about how our kids are all crazy.

He helped me hand pick 16 that speak specifically to the Holidays. For example:

ASSAULT AND BATTER (uss-ALLT AND BAH-tuhr)  v: To be informed by your child at 8:30 in the morning that they’d volunteered you to prepare 40 cupcakes for their class’s holiday party that day.

CARDBOREDOM (card-BOHR-duhm)  adj : A child’s tendency to ignore a birthday present and instead play with the box it came in.

RAMPAPER (rahm-PAY-puhr) v: To ferociously shred through the gift-wrap on a present with no regard for the festive design nor the time and care that went into wrapping it.

Here are a few more:

nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’3′

  • Cashmosis 1 of 13
    What is this word "cash"? I know not of this word...
  • Christmess 2 of 13
    We could fill a dumpster with our debris. We are horrible.
  • Disclausure 3 of 13
    There is a stiff penalty for this sort of thing at my house.
  • Jingleberry 4 of 13
    I saw mommy LICKING Santa Claus.
  • Kodick 5 of 13
    Ugh. This would be funny if it weren't far too true.
  • Nicktronize 6 of 13
    Oh, I still do it.
  • Playaway Plan 7 of 13
    Playaway Plan
    For kids younger than preschool age, I say DO IT.
  • Santapede 8 of 13
    My kids will throw elbows.
  • Santastrophe 9 of 13
    I actually LOVE to see these pictures.
  • Shirturbed 10 of 13
    I love to see pictures of these, too.
  • Sledentary 11 of 13
    And of course as soon as they get outside, they invariably have to pee.
  • Stayhomophobia 12 of 13
    OH DEAR GOD. They will be home for 12 days in a row,
  • Treblemaker 13 of 13
    My ears are still bleeding from last year's treblemakers.

You can find all these words and from in The Kid Dictionary by Eric Ruhalter . Learn more and watch some awesome videos of the words inside the book at

Please join me here once a week for more Rants in My Pants. You can also find me at Rants from Mommyland, on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Sweet Relish.

Tagged as: , ,

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Learn More.