16 Things I Forgive My Kids ForEllen Seidman
Do you realize how much of me I give to you, and what I’ve given up for you?
Do you realize how many hours in a day I devote to you?
Do you realize how much care I put into everything I do for you?
Do you realize you just kicked me in the kidneys and I am in serious pain here?
Because we moms are still human beings! Who still possess shreds of self-respect and pride and a desire to have time for ourselves besides bathroom breaks! Of course, we’d never actually say any of this. These are thoughts we keep on the inside. Instead, we go right on with our day, forgetting all about our free time and the dark circles under our eyes and that dull ache in our lower gut.
Like I said, our love for our kids unconditional. And so, I officially forgive my kids for all of the following.
I forgive my kids for… 1 of 17…the let's-see-what-can-go-down-the-toilet experiments. But they owe me $259 in plumber bills.
Photo credit: flickr/Whatsername
I forgive my kids for… 2 of 17…repeatedly telling me that I am a "mean mommy." How do I know I am not a mean mommy? BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Photo credit: flickr/Mindaugas Danys
I forgive my kids for… 3 of 17…the post C-section disaster area formerly known as my abs.
Photo credit: Amazon.com
I forgive my kids for… 4 of 17…regularly crashing in our bed and being the de facto birth control.
Photo credit: istock
I forgive my kids for… 5 of 17…the flash poop-storm that destroyed granny's antique quilt comforter.
Photo credit: Flickr/R Harrison
I forgive my kids for… 6 of 17...the Yo Gabba Gabba obsession. Even if it did last two whole years. I sincerely hope it did not cause brain damage.
Photo credit: Flickr/Jaysin Trevino
I forgive my kids for… 7 of 17…all the times they've gotten me sick. Once, during the winter I inexplicably got strep throat three times, the doctor explained kids can be "carriers." Better me than them. But, ouch.
Photo credit: Flickr/Brandon and Kaja Geary
I forgive my kids for… 8 of 17…the times when they've gotten upset and said "I don't love you!" I know they do, of course. I didn't take it personally. Well, maybe just a little bit and maybe I snuck into the bathroom and wept but really, no matter.
Photo credit: Flickr/Clemens v. Vogelsang
And I also forgive my kids for… 9 of 17...those times when they said "I love Daddy BETTER!"
Photo credit: Flickr/Tom Santone
I forgive my kids for… 10 of 17...the pregnancy indigestion, all those nights I couldn't sleep on my belly (or sleep at all), and 19.5 hours of labor. Because, wow, what a parting prize.
Photo credit: Flickr/Joe Annenah
I forgive my kids for… 11 of 17…those times they accidentally jabbed me in the eye with a finger or stick or other invasive object, socked me in the gut or kicked me in the shins. Too bad moms can't file for compensation for disability caused on the job.
Photo credit: Flickr/Mac(3)
I forgive my kids for… 12 of 17…the fact that I spend more money on their clothes than I do on my own.
Photo credit: Etsy/Leanne Maxwell
I forgive my kids for… 13 of 17...using my sleeve/skirt/pants/hair to wipe their noses. My germphobia is now totally cured. Thank you, kids! Thank you!
Photo credit: Flickr/Penreyes
I forgive my kids for… 14 of 17…the extreme public tantrums (you know, the ones that make you cringe because you feel certain people think you are a child abuser).
Photo credit: Etsy/Vivian Chen
I forgive my kids for… 15 of 17...all the mornings they've woken me up at 5:30 a.m.—and the perma-dark circles beneath my eyes. Where would the concealer industry be without children, I ask you?
Photo credit: Flickr/tasha
I forgive my kids for… 16 of 17…it all, because no matter what I am in awe of them and love them more than words can say. But I kinda do miss my abs.
Coming up! 17 of 17Things my kids need to forgive ME for.
Photo credit: Cafepress
Photo credit: Flickr/Shimelle Laine
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