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25 Outrageously Sexist Vintage Ads

Since – well, what feels like forever – advertisers have been telling women to tuck this, enhance that, hide this, make that, and the list goes on. While women have yet to conquer the world (p.s. This happens when we turn phallic shaped buildings into welcoming hoo-hah shaped temples), we’ve come a long way from the sexist vintage ads seen here. Don’t get me wrong, they were spot on when they said blowing cigarette smoke in a woman’s face will have her following you to the ends of the earth. Ha!

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  • 25 Outrageously Sexist Vintage Ads 1 of 26
    25 Outrageously Sexist Vintage Ads
    Click here to see them all...
  • More Like PCP for Pep 2 of 26
    More Like PCP for Pep
    Not sure what sober lady would happily pose for this ad.
    Spotted at Planet Oddity.
  • Because Brains Just Isn’t Enough 3 of 26
    Because Brains Just Isn't Enough
    "Develop your beauty to bring out the sweetness of your personality."
    Spotted at Lemon Drop.
  • Lysol Means Love 4 of 26
    Lysol Means Love
    Morning, noon, and night, ladies. You hear that?
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Way to be Vague 5 of 26
    Way to be Vague
    There's nothing like those polo sweaters to really make you look like a tough guy on the mountain.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Silly Me, Thinking I Could Drive Anything but This 6 of 26
    Silly Me, Thinking I Could Drive Anything but This
    That's definitely what women drivers look like too.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Girls Just Know How to Look Pretty 7 of 26
    Girls Just Know How to Look Pretty
    She must need a big, strong man to help her with this.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Truth 8 of 26
    Truth
    I wonder why we don't see more men doing this all the time.
    Spotted at Modcloth.
  • Where to Begin… 9 of 26
    Where to Begin...
    Maybe we should skip over the whole sexist issue and take a look at what they're watching on TV.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • The Loose Ladies 10 of 26
    The Loose Ladies
    Watch out men, they're coming for ya.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Listen Up Ladies 11 of 26
    Listen Up Ladies
    He won't want you if you have an "unsightly" run.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Quick, Get Your Hair Dye! 12 of 26
    Quick, Get Your Hair Dye!
    Thank goodness "Clairol keeps your secret."
    Spotted at Lemon Drop.
  • I Don’t Even Know What to Say 13 of 26
    I Don't Even Know What to Say
    "After one look at his Mr. Leggs slacks, she was ready to have him walk all over her." Excuse me while I vomit.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Buy His Coffee or He’ll Beat You 14 of 26
    Buy His Coffee or He'll Beat You
    And people wonder why our society has issues.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Forget Gatsby’s Party 15 of 26
    Forget Gatsby's Party
    If you don't smell like a petunia, you're out.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Really? 16 of 26
    Really?
    I guess we have nothing to fall back on but our looks.
    Spotted at PZR Services.
  • Ummm… 17 of 26
    Ummm...
    Who Approved this? Oh yes, a man.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Poor Nell 18 of 26
    Poor Nell
    If she had only used Palmolive she would still have a reason to live.
    Spotted at Lost at E Minor.
  • The Only Things that Matter in Life 19 of 26
    The Only Things that Matter in Life
    You just need to eat a "one-once bowlful." I'll just go for a breakfast burrito.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Men Totally Know Best 20 of 26
    Men Totally Know Best
    Keep admiring that shoe, sweetheart.
    Spotted at Save Our Soles.
  • ‘It Writes as Long as Our Man-Size Jotter’ 21 of 26
    'It Writes as Long as Our Man-Size Jotter'
    I'm about to cut off someone's man-size jotter.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • She Looks Stoked 22 of 26
    She Looks Stoked
    "If she likes the offer, she might start to play. No Strings Attached"
    Spotted at Shockblast.
  • Notice the Tiny Print… 23 of 26
    Notice the Tiny Print...
    "Christmas morning (and forever after)." A Hoover is all it takes.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Here You Go Sweetheart 24 of 26
    Here You Go Sweetheart
    And then she snapped and he was never seen again.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.
  • Caution: Women on the Road 25 of 26
    Caution: Women on the Road
    "Women are soft and gentle, but they hit things."
    Spotted at Bitter Wallet.
  • For Your ‘Womanly Offense’ 26 of 26
    For Your 'Womanly Offense'
    Run away men before we get our "womanly offense" all over you.
    Spotted at Amusing Planet.

Jacinda Boneau is a fabric designer and founding co-editor at Prudent Baby, the premier design and lifestyle blog providing inspiration and instruction to help anyone create beautiful things, food, and experiences for their friends and family.

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