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37 Things I Never Knew About Pregnancy

I’m nearing the end of my first pregnancy, and I’m thrilled to be closing in on the time when I can meet my sweet babe. The process has been a bizarrely emotional and biological journey that has left me at times rather stunned, thinking, “So this is what is everyone has been talking about?”

The surprises have been nonstop, and here are 37 of those things I never knew until they happened.

  1. That there would be nothing I could do to save my belly button.
  2. That I would be nauseous for longer than 12 weeks.
  3. That everyone would tell me I would only be nauseous for 12 weeks.
  4. That my body would feel like it was hosting an alien at times.
  5. That my baby would be so active as to wake me up.
  6. That I would feel physically unable to turn over in bed.
  7. That satin sheets would help this.
  8. That my OB would look like Bethenny Frankel.
  9. That it would take me months to figure out why I thought she looked so familiar.
  10. That my husband would be so interested in the pregnancy process.
  11. That I would never tire of feeling my baby move.
  12. That I would touch my belly more than I ever dreamed possible in a given day.
  13. That strangers and near strangers would touch my belly.
  14. That people I don’t like would touch my belly when I saw them.
  15. That my belly would feel like public property.
  16. That I would be so scared of labor.
  17. That people would have such strong opinions about labor.
  18. That people would have so many suggestions about birth plans, doulas, midwives, OBs, and all the rest.
  19. That the weeks would pass quicker than I ever dreamed.
  20. That I would get so large.
  21. That I would be smaller than I thought.
  22. That I would feel bloated all the time.
  23. That I would spend so many hours in doctors appointments.
  24. That bed-rest would be so unpleasant.
  25. That bed-rest would go by so quickly.
  26. That I would read so much.
  27. That I would be so unsure about what to name my baby.
  28. That baby name books wouldn’t help.
  29. That people would have so many opinions.
  30. That some of those opinions would be so horrid.
  31. That friends and family would start calling my baby what they thought I should name it.
  32. That this would bother me.
  33. That it would take so much time to figure out what strollers, breast pumps, infant baby carriers, baby bottles, etc. etc. etc. to buy.
  34. That there is a whole industry devoted to reviewing these things and telling me which to buy.
  35. That it would still be confusing.
  36. That I would be so excited to meet the baby, and that it would feel as if I were getting ready to meet someone with a fully-formed personality who would be able to shake my hand and sit down for a cup of tea to tell me all about her last ten months.
  37. That I would be so excited to do it all over again.
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