While the “older” couples that we see in pictures or on the train are cute, it does not mean they have mature love. Mature love has less to do with your age and more to do with how your love has evolved over time. It has to do with your willingness to love each other unconditionally and stay committed (even through the tough times.)
With that being said, I have seen many older couples that do not have mature love…not at all. On the other hand, I have seen couples that have only been married for 5, 10 or 15 years that are thriving in healthy relationships because they are very intentional about loving each other and are committed to making the marriage work. So even after the newlywed/honeymoon phase has ended, and even after the euphoric feeling of new love ends, these couples are able to evolve into a deeper more committed type of love…..a mature love.
Lamar and I have been married for 8 years now and I definitely see our love maturing as the years go by. And, I also know that we still have some growing and learning to do in our relationship (we are not quite babies….but more like young adults..lol.) So, in our quest to grow stronger in our marriage, we have been taking notes from couples that we admire and exhibit the type of mature love that we want in our relationship. Check out these 5 characteristics of couples with mature love.
image-4 1 of 6Photo Credit: theswedish
1. They are intentional about making their marriages work. 2 of 6People that have mature love...have it because they put in the work. In the article, The Truth about Falling Out of Love, Amy Morin- LCSW says: "People who experience mature love don't allow themselves to passively fall out of love. Instead, they take action. Choosing to take your relationship to the next level doesn't come easy. It requires you to behave in a way that is contrary to your feelings at times. It takes hard work, dedication and commitment." Photo Credit: juliaf
2. They continue to have loving actions, even when loving feelings aren’t present. 3 of 6People that have mature love know that marriages have their seasons and their up and downs. And even when they are going through their rough spells, they continue to have loving actions for each other. Dr. Johnny C. Parker, Jr., author of Renovating Your Marriage Room by Room, says: "When a couple chooses loving actions, often times loving feelings emerge again." Photo Credit: jan-willem
3. They set goals. 4 of 6One of my favorite couples and our marriage mentors are Carlos and Katherine Green, authors of the The Family Goal Planning Guide and Workbook. The Greens believe that goals are a great way for you to grow your marriage and family. Goals provide direction for your marriage and will strengthen your relationship as you work together to achieve them. Photo Credit: marmit
4. They know how to love each other. 5 of 6These couples take the time to find out how their partner needs to feel love (their love language) and then they choose do it. That's right folks, I am talking about The Five Love Languages again because understanding each other's Love Language is one of the keys to having lasting love. Photo Credit: otjep
5. They know how to work through their problems….together. 6 of 6We've seen couples overcome infidelity, financial issues and more. And the one thing that makes them different from couples that do not survive the storms is their ability to work (together) to solve their problems. Couples that have mature love work together....period. Photo Credit: malkowitch
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