When Lamar and I announced our engagement to various friends and family members, I was sort of surprised and disappointed by some of the responses we received. Sure, some people said congratulations and that they were happy for us. But, we also received many negatives comments.
My sister flat out told me not to get married. One of my close friend’s father asked me if I was sure I knew what I was doing. Like, who says that?
And there were others that weren’t negative … but they weren’t positive either. They told me things like, “Marriage is hard work.” And they told about all of the challenges that I would face … but that if I just persevered, we would make it through. I was also told that the first years would be the hardest.
But no one ever shared the other side of marriage, the good side. So I went into my marriage 100% confident that I loved my husband and that I picked the right one for me. But, I also had all of these negative thoughts running through my mind.
It’s been almost 9 years now, and I’ve discovered so many wonderful things about marriage. Things that I am wondering why no one chose to share … things like:
1. Quiet Time
How come no one ever told me about the quiet moments in the bedroom? They never told me just how precious the few minutes in the morning, when it’s still dark out and everybody else in the house is asleep, could be. It’s a time for snuggling, a time for talking, a time for praying, a time for a morning quickie, or for whatever it is that you and your spouse choose to do. It’s a time when nothing else matters but the two of you.
2. Surprise Treats
You are working on your computer and BAM! a peanut butter and jelly sandwich appears from nowhere. You didn’t ask for it, and you didn’t say you were hungry. Your sweetie decided to surprise you for no reason at all. No one ever told me about all of the special treats I would get after I got married.
How come no told me that I could exhale? They didn’t tell me that I could let go, because I didn’t have to carry every burden alone. Some people realize this right away. But for others like me, it took some time to let go. I was so used to taking care of everything alone. I was not accustomed to asking for help when I needed it. I used to get so stressed about work, the kids, the house, the bills … and all of those things made me irritable. It was so liberating when I finally learned to let go.
4. Sharing Secrets
Our secret moments are filled with things that you can’t share with anyone else in the world but each other. In those secret moments, we share our deepest fears, our silliest thoughts, our corniest jokes and our wildest dreams. How come no one ever told me that my spouse would be my best friend and confidant?
5. Physical Intimacy
No one ever tells you that as your emotional and spiritual connection grows stronger, your physical connection does too. When you are able to completely let go and give your mind, body and soul to your mate, your physical intimacy is taken to a whole new level.
I bet many of you can relate to the things I’ve shared here, but have you shared those things with others? Married people have to start speaking up and sharing the good news about marriage. When people are unhappy, they don’t have any problems telling everyone that will listen. Happily married couples also need to share their good news as well. Yes, marriage is work, but don’t forget to share all of the wonderful benefits too.
Please share with us some of the good things that you have discovered about marriage in the comment section below.