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5 Things Not To Pack For Your Cruise

So you want to go on a cruise but you’re not sure how much stuff you should cram into your luggage or really just what exactly you will need to have with you on that luxury liner? I’m sure a lot of people write guides where they give you advice on what to pack (I just Googled “what to pack for a cruise” and page after page came up) But how many of these so-called-travel-guides will tell you what not to bring with you? Personally I think that’s the better advice! It’s difficult to know what you won’t need so most people end up packing so much they need a separate limo just to lug their crap to the airport (okay maybe that’s just what I’ve seen on a lot of Real Housewives of Orange County). As usual, I’m here to rescue you from yourselves. And as usual, you’re welcome.

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  • Leave room 1 of 5
    Leave room
    You don't need eighty pairs of underwear for a week. I know it seems easier to just shove a bunch of extra pairs into your suitcase because they're so light and easy to stuff but why? All that will happen is you'll lose a few pairs and more than likely they will be your favorite bright orange Victoria Secret pair that has been unceremoniously discontinued because "neon wasn't selling well."
  • Unplug 2 of 5
    Unplug
    Leave your computer home. You can't get online so what's the point? Are you really going to do a bunch of work on your Word program? Just bring a damn notebook if you really need to write something. Yeah, notebook. Those flat things with a bunch of lines on the page usually bound with some spiral for easy opening and flipping of pages. They don't come with pens so you'll want to pack a few of those.
  • Just Don’t Do It 3 of 5
    Just Don't Do It
    Forget hiking boots. I shouldn't need to tell you this but I recently spoke to a friend who packed hiking boots because she thought she'd "go for a little hike at one of the ports." First of all, we don't even need to know the end of that story because whether she did or didn't use the hiking boots, is immaterial. You don't need to hike when you're on vacation. And if your vacation involves a boat, you aren't the hiking type so stop trying to fool yourself into thinking you are.
  • They Blow 4 of 5
    They Blow
    No need for your hair dryer: Unless you haven't traveled since 1980 you should know that hair dryers are provided nowadays. You don't have to bring your own humongous one nor do you have to buy a crappy travel sized dryer that is supposed to be twice as powerful as your big dryer but turns out to be like trying to dry your hair by having a buddy blow on it.
  • How To Read 5 of 5
    How To Read
    Don't bring books. Join us in the 2012's and get a Kindle. You will be shocked at how great it is to have one little screen that holds any book you want to read. I used to bring books on vacation and then just leave them behind for someone to find and enjoy. So I guess I'm a worse person for the invention of Kindles but screw it. I travel lighter.

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