Apparently in the past several weeks EVERYONE in the world has discovered Pinterest. I joined up a few months ago, because I’m just so ahead of the curve in these things. (Not.)
Basically it’s a virtual pinboard: a place where people can post pictures of cool stuff — food, shoes, beautiful home decor, craft ideas, pictures of celebrities, funny stuff. Anything. Kind of like your locker in Middle School, except instead of pictures torn out of Teen Beat it’s pictures from all over the web and other people’s pinboards.
It’s a lot of fun, although — like all social media — kind of addictive, and kind of a time suck.
But every time I go there, I end up feeling just a touch inadequate. Because Pinterest inevitably reminds me of the various ways in which I am not good enough:
1. It’s a DIY world, and I’m not a part of it. People love posting pictures of adorable crafts and projects (a bird feeder made out of Mason jars, felt and old magazines! Soooo cute!!) or DIY home decor ideas (totally easy, no-sew Roman blinds!! Sooooo cute!!) And every time I look at this stuff (which usually truly is sooooo cute) I feel like a lazy-ass. Because I don’t make shit. I don’t have the time or the patience, and when I do attempt to make stuff, it doesn’t go terribly well. I buy things. And all the cool girls are totally rolling their eyes at me behind my back.
2. I am slovenly. Pinterest is also chock full of beauty/fashion tips (“10 fabulous ways to tie scarves and add instant flair!”) and photos of outfits and shoes and accessories, usually with captions like “can’t wait to try out this look!” I see them and think: I will never try this look. I mean, it looks awesome and all. But I will never actually do it, because I’m always running ten minutes late and will most likely just throw on a pair of jeans (which probably have toothpaste drips on them, courtesy of my children) and the same sweater I wear three times a week. Without a scarf.
3. I don’t exercise enough. I’ve been seeing a lot of “15 minutes to a more fit you!”pictures on the pinboards lately, which when clicked on lead to sure-fire SO EASY!! mini-workouts. No equipment needed! Except a chair! They look great — and SO EASY! Nevertheless, I won’t do them. Because it would require changing out of my sweater and jeans. And also, I am lazy.
4. I am a boring cook / baker. Pinterest is a food-lover’s paradise, full of gorgeous pictures of surely delicious foods (Grilled asparagus and Gorgonzola pizza! Bacon and molasses cupcakes!) linked to recipes. I may “like” them or pin them to my boards, but will I actually buy the ingredients and make them? No. I will make spaghetti with store-bought pesto sauce and grilled chicken breasts again.
5. I am a bad mother. Because I will not do any of the totally adorable and SO EASY! craft ideas with my kids. I won’t plan in advance and get the materials, and besides, they’re perfectly content to just color with markers on scrap paper. Or make one of my own half-assed craft ideas. Also: our valentines this year will be the same as last year: folded red construction paper with heart stickers all over them. If I manage to remember to buy the heart stickers, that is.
But the upside of Pinterest — or perhaps the huge, ridiculous irony — is that people also love to post gorgeous graphics (like, a zillion times more gorgeous than the pathetic one I made for this post) of inspirational sayings: “Everybody dances to their own rhythm!” or “I won’t worry my life away!” or “I will love myself more each day!”
So just when I’m feeling like a total loser, I am reminded that, actually, I’m not. Just a partial one.
DOUBLE TIME, my memoir of parenting twins and battling depression (among other things) is now available for pre-order!