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6 Rules For Raising Twins

I’ve been in the twins game for well over three years now. These past 44 months have been chock full of challenges; the NICU, colic, growth issues, weekly therapy appointments, feeding tubes, bad doctors, biting,  potty training,  worrying they’d never get to start preschool, starting preschool, and much more. But it’s also been full of love. I had no idea my heart could expand this much, that my little babies could burrow their way into my core, challenging what I believed were my limitations and changing the way I look at the world.  Because of my two little ladies the years have been also been full of cute little butts, sloppy kisses, excellent doctors, the feeling of tiny arms around my neck, and watching my girls play together, laugh together and grow into little people.

 

None of it was in my plans and yet, it truly is a lovely life. That  said, I am happy to share with you my 6 rules for raising twins.


  • Moms of twins want to be friends. 1 of 6
    Moms of twins want to be friends.
    (by and large)(me for sure)(unless you're really psycho) Even now that my twins are almost four if I see a double stroller at a mall I will most certainly come right up and say "what up yo? Twins? Me too!" A twins mom can recognize a twins mom much like war vets know another vet. It's that dead look in our eyes. But seriously, we want to help each other the way only another one of us can. It's a club and membership does have its privileges.
  • You do have enough love to go around! 2 of 6
    You do have enough love to go around!
    I always thought that having three kids was too many. I especially couldn't imagine being able to parent two at once. And I admit, at the beginning when Jon was at work and I was alone with the girls and they were both crying nonstop, it seemed impossible. I can remember the feeling of holding one sobbing infant while the other one screamed and feeling so helpless. The best solution seemed to be getting in my car alone, high tailing it to the airport and flying to Mazatlan to drink margaritas and marry a driftwood carver. Of course at that point even going to Target alone seemed like it would be a mental holiday. Almost four years later I can see that there are enough hugs, enough kisses, enough patience and enough love for all of my kids. But not enough room in our bed. Seriously, go back to your own room.
  • Respect. The. Bond. 3 of 6
    Respect. The. Bond.
    From a parent perspective, the twin bond is beautiful, threatening, inspiring and alienating all at the same time. But mostly beautiful. As much as they fight, and they fight a lot, they would take a bullet for each other. A chocolate bullet. A chocolate bullet with a creamy center.
  • Sharing is, in fact, caring. 4 of 6
    Sharing is, in fact, caring.
    Before I had twins I felt that sharing was an overrated concept. After all, I would be pissed if I had to share my car with you just because you felt like driving it. Or what if you just felt like sleeping with my husband and I had to go along with it to "be nice?" So with my first daughter I did try to teach her to share but I admit I wasn't exactly the share police. Until I had twins. Now it goes without saying that if one of my kids gets something they will be sharing it with their sisters. At first I thought that Elby might get some special stuff that she could keep in her room away from Sadie and Matilda but honestly, it just doesn't work out that way. Somehow Sadie and Mattie find her stuff and pull it out of hiding like some kind of bomb sniffing dogs. Sure they're not supposed to. But they do. And much like the Israelis and the Palestinians they have to learn to get along lest there be bloodshed.
  • Hope for the best but expect the worst. 5 of 6
    Hope for the best but expect the worst.
    This is good advice for life in general but especially for carrying, birthing and raising twins. The truth is you double the normal uterus capacity so the chance of something going wrong is also doubled. This is not to scare you but just to prepare you. When I was on bed rest and hearing that Sadie was going to weigh two pounds, I heard a lot of "she's going to be fine!" With the amount of optimism flying around you would've thought Sadie would be rollerblading off to college the second she was born. And truly Sadie did do well. But not without a hell of a lot of challenges and intervention that we did not see coming. It would have helped a lot to know what we might be dealing with so we could have filled the Xanax script sooner.
  • It gets easier — it really does! 6 of 6
    It gets easier — it really does!
    — the first two years are mind numbingly sucky. If you don't have some help —and I don't mean just a spouse - it can turn you into a wine addled, chronically depressed ball of chaos with an untended to mustache (or maybe that's just me) but after two years, the sky opens up, the sun pops through and all of a sudden your twins are little people who can voice their needs, walk and possibly use the toilet (but don't get your hopes that far up). Sometimes I'm seriously shocked that I even survived the first couple of years what with all the sleeping I wasn't doing. But I swear that these days I'm actually excited that I have twins. What? Yeah.

 


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