8 Things You Won't Hear at a PTSA Meeting (But Wish You Would)


So many of us have been to a PTSA meeting. The Stepford Ladies, ummmm, also the ones from Harper Valley. My list isn’t going so well, but you get the gist. Many attend, and attend in the spirit of good faith. But like any committee meeting, things can get complicated. VERY complicated. A lot gets said, covering both necessary issues and some not-so-necessary issues. But of course, the inverse is true as well. There are so many thoughts everyone withholds when in a roomful of people. Given that I’m writing from home in my nightgown, I’ll just go ahead and say them. Here’s 8 things you won’t hear at a PTSA meeting (but wish you would.)

  • Click through for 8 Things you Won’t Hear at a PTSA Meeting 1 of 9

    (but wish you would)

  • The Future’s So Bright 2 of 9

    "Grades don't really matter, we'll be lucky if college exists by the time they grow up."

    No recent graduates can find a job anyway!

  • Raise the Bar 3 of 9

    "Let's spend all our raised funds on teacher and administration salaries!"

    They are the most underpaid profession. Except in Finland.

  • Hanging Chads 4 of 9

    "We don't really need to vote on this, it's common sense, right?"

    As we've seen, true democracies are practically impossible anyway.

  • La Recherche du Temps Perdu 5 of 9

    "I think we could just do this by email."

    Because why get dressed and leave the house when you don't need to?

  • All By Myself 6 of 9

    "I just want to thank you guys for getting my kids out of the house. I can now pee in peace."

    And I don't know how you do it every day. Hats off. 

  • The Awful Truth Part II 7 of 9

    "That fundraiser was a hot mess. We barely covered the cost of the crepe paper we hung."

    But we all got blotto and had fun, so lets do it again next year anyway.

  • Mob Rule 8 of 9

    "We should let the students vote on that."

    Let's hold onto the controls as long as we can.

  • Location Location Location 9 of 9

    "I motion to hold all future meetings at the closest bar, do I hear a second?" 


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