Originally, I had something else planned to blog about this week. Then, I had an argument which resulted in me going to my bedroom and slamming the door, loudly. Then I realized how childish I was acting, which (somehow) resulted in the inspiration for this list. If you have a teenager- I have empathy. If you have a two year old going through the ‘terrible twos’ phase? Just wait until they reach puberty. Scroll through for 8 ways the teenage years are way more frustrating than dealing with a two year old!
They Want Your Money 1 of 7
Two year olds don't ask for money like teenagers do. Teenagers have it down to practically an art form; often it doesn't even stop when a teenager starts learning 'the value of a dollar' and realizes that while spending their own money is practically sacrilegious, spending their parents' money... well that suits them just fine.
They Slam Doors 2 of 7
Two year olds don't slam the door, but teenagers sure do. Slamming the door is our way of saying "you know what? I'm going to get in trouble if I say anything rude. So let me just slam the door just to convey JUST HOW MUCH I DISLIKE YOU RIGHT NOW."
They’re Manipulative 3 of 7
Teenagers are a bit like dogs hunting for a bone: they know what they want, and they won't stop until they get it. They have a lot of manipulation techniques which they work to their advantage; playing one parent against each other, the "puppy-dog eyes" technique, and the general, "argue until they give in" routine. Two year olds don't have the vocabulary, nor the stamina, in order to be as manipulative as teenagers.
They Refuse To Admit When They’re Wrong 4 of 7
Sure, you punish them because they broke curfew. Obviously, that's not their fault. It's your fault for giving them a curfew in the first place- if you hadn't, they wouldn't have broken it. Jeez. Two year olds go to time out for a few minutes, apologize, nod their heads when asked if they understand what they did wrong, and everything is fine.
They Need Naps More Than Babies Do 5 of 7
You know how scientists say that teenagers only need 7-8 hours sleep a night? That's rubbish. We need a good solid twelve, plus a two hour nap during the day. If we get a measly 7 hours? That's basically equivalent to not sleeping at all. We can't function (nicely) on that. You don't have that problem with two year olds because they're forced to have naps, therefore, you don't need to deal with a sleep 'deprived', moody from caffeine surge teenager.
They Whine and They’re Messy 6 of 7
Yes, two year olds also whine, but it's less tolerable when it's coming from someone who has been doing it for at least the last eleven years, in comparison to someone who doesn't know that many words.
"But I don't wannnaaaaa clean my roooommmmmm!"
They Have Hormones 7 of 7
If only the hormones were restricted to watching TV....
Hormones wreck everything. They just make life unpredictable- for parents and teenagers alike. One minute a teenager is happy because they're watching their favorite TV episode, then they're crying because the episode is over, then the teenager is angry because LIFE IS SO UNFAIR WHY CAN'T THERE JUST BE MORE EPISODES? Two year olds? 1) they don't have hormones. 2) Put the same episode on repeat, and they're happy.