Last night, Lamar and I had dinner with two other couples because we were celebrating the birthday of one of the wives. It’s nice to spend time with other couples, talking about current events and about marriage.
One of the couples said something last night that stuck out in my mind. They said they were saddened by the fact that another couple that they knew was getting a divorce. The news of the divorce shocked them. And I could tell that our friends wished that they could have done more for this other couple before they got to the point of calling it quits.
This conversation got me to thinking. Are we doing enough to support each other in our marriages? Do you really know how your friends’ marriages are going?
Have you ever had a friend shock you with the news that they are about to get divorced? And you just sat there and scratched your head and thought…I never would have guessed.
With marriages failing all around us, and with so much negativity out there (especially in the media) as it pertains to marriages, having the support of other couples can be just what a couple needs in order to make it through the rough times.
Here are 8 ways we can support each other’s marriages:
Be A Positive Example 1 of 8
One of the best ways that you can support another couple is to be an example of a loving, respectful, and supportive couple for them. Believe it or not, people are watching you and your marriage and they are taking notes. Lamar and I meet people all of the time that say they don't want to get married because they have never seen any marriages at all or they have never seen any marriages that work. Just by being a good example, you can inspire someone to want to be happily married one day. Photo Credit: Mat Hayward
If you’re happy, say you’re happy! 2 of 8
When people are unhappy in their marriages, who do they tell......? They tell EVERYONE! They tell total strangers...they tell their hair dressers and barbers.....they tell their friends ....their relatives. They tell you... whether you want to know or not.
It's time for happy couples to also speak up too. There are happily married couples out there that have been loving each other for years. And people need know this. Photo Credit Pavel Losevsky
Pray for them! 3 of 8
One of the best things that you can do for another person's marriage is to pray for them. Ask God to protect their marriages and to bring healing to marriages that are in trouble. Photo Credit: Shutterstock_Salim October
Check in with them. 4 of 8
Call your friends from time to time to see how they are doing. Ask about their spouse. Let them know that you have been thinking about them and that you have been praying for their marriage. A lot of times when people are hurting or going through something, they are reluctant to reach out to other people...and they struggle silently. Photo Credit: scottsnyde
Schedule Couples Date Nights 5 of 8
Spending time with those other couples last night was truly a blessing. We used that time to relax and to enjoy each other. We also talked about our marriages and the lessons we've learned over the years. It was very encouraging.
Ask a few couples to come over periodically for dinner, a discussion, and even a few games. Make it a regular activity where a different couple hosts the dinner party. Photo Credit: Dmitri MIkitenko
Share your lessons learned. 6 of 8
We all struggle with things in our marriages, And sometimes, when we overcome those conflicts...we find that our marriages are even stronger than they were before. Don't hold on to your stories. Your story (or as church folk say...your testimony) can help someone else that is struggling in that same area. Photo Credit: DNF-Style
Hold them accountable. 7 of 8
If you see that your friends are doing things that could be harmful to their marriages, call them on it.
" Hey man..that's not cool...you're a married man."
" I love you girl....but your husband may not appreciate that....perhaps you should talk to him about that first."
I know that not all marriages are the same...and what works in one marriage may not work in another. But, you can at least give your friend food for thought if you think they are going to do something that could be harmful to their marriage.
Let's support each other in keeping our marriage vows....to love, to respect...to protect.... Photo Credit: rovaro
Listen and Be Encouraging 8 of 8
I have a few friends that confide in me about their relationships. My goal is to be a good listener, to encourage them, and to help them look for solutions. A lot of times, people just need to be encouraged. And sometimes, they need for someone to help them see a different perspective or to see more alternatives. But the last thing they need, is for someone to speak negatively about their spouse or marriage. Photo Credit: Renata Osinska