My kids never get my jokes. I think a big part of the problem is that they haven’t watched enough comedies from the 1980s. One of the greatest moments of my life was when I made a quiche for dinner and my little boy asked me to spell quiche. I actually got to say “Well you don’t spell it son, you eat it,” in context!
My kids say, “I want my two dollars. Cash,” but they don’t know why it is so funny. Please keep in mind that these are the same children that when they were little if they started freaking out in public I would say “Come on Yolanda, what’s Fonzie like?” and they would have to say “He’s cool,” as their cue to settle down.
Other lines from movies I use on the children?
“You’re really bringing me over.” 1 of 6Remember how the dad in Better Off Dead was reading the book abut how to talk to teenagers and he kept screwing up the prepositions? When my son was three, he went through a phase where he would mix up pronouns. He would call his sister "he" and his dad "she." Being the mature adult I am, I would reply "Right off!" and "Lane, you're really bringing me over."
We also say "It's got raisins in it. You like raisins." a lot when trying to get the kids to try new foods ... even though we hardly ever cook anything with actual raisins in it.
“I don’t have to run away and live in the street.” 2 of 6When threatening to run away (this happened far more often when the twins were babies and were throwing tantrums at the same time), I tend to quote Allison from The Breakfast Club.
"I don't have to runaway and live in the street. I can runaway and I can go to the ocean, I can go to the country, I can go to the mountains. I could go to Israel, Africa, Afghanistan. "
“Dong! Grandpa is talking to you!” 3 of 6This gem from Sixteen Candles is one we use in context, as my children often choose to ignore my father — and it's especially fun because it involves clapping. "Dong!" *clap clap* "Grandpa is talking to you!"
Also once we got bunk beds, the "What's happening, hot stuff?" became more popular.
“Bueller? Bueller?” 4 of 6I think everyone in the world uses this one when trying to get the attention of a kid that is engrossed in something else.
“That nerd saw me naked!” 5 of 6Ah, Revenge of the Nerds. I try not to yell this in front of the kids, but it is always so tempting when somebody needs to talk to me when I am in the shower.
“Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” 6 of 6Okay, to be fair this has absolutely nothing to do with my children, but one time while driving by a convenience store we witnessed what appeared to be part drug deal, part fireworks display, and my friend Aaron actually got to say, "Strange things are a foot a the Circle K."
And they were.
* * *