9 Things That Are Just As Bad For Our Kids As Alicia Silverstones Mouth Feeding


Listen people, I understand that there’s nothing more fun than, say, mocking a celeb mom who unthinkingly posts a gag-worthy episode of her post-child life for public, er, consumption. And I genuinely get why Alicia Silverstone and “mouth-feeding” episode is gross. I do. But honestly, the way people are talking about this makes me crazy. Truth? There are a thousand million things we all do as parents every day that are just as strange/ damaging/ unfortunate as her miso mangling. So now, for your viewing pleasure–nine of them.

  • Yelling at them because we are late 1 of 9
    Yelling at them because we are late
    I swear, this is the one that turns me into Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. Why do we keep being late? Why do I always blame the 3-year-old? I mean yes, he is the slowest, but it's not like he has a watch. Or knows what time is.
  • The spit clean 2 of 9
    The spit clean
    Is this the part where I admit my mother still does this to me on occasion? It's disgusting. And universal. And, unfortunately, effective. People, the spit clean has been around for centuries and is never going away.
  • Ignoring them because, hello, The Voice? 3 of 9
    Ignoring them because, hello, The Voice?
    I mean, everyone has a vice. My mother's was the newspaper. Mine is watching Cee Lo stroke fluffy white cats. Am I proud of this? No. But I do it, and occasionally I ignore my kid to do it. Thank God the only real witness to this is my husband. And now you people.
  • Forgetting to pick them up from school 4 of 9
    Forgetting to pick them up from school
    Listen, I'll be honest, this one hasn't happened to me yet, but I know it's coming like a hot train to Shame Town. And when it does, I will curl up into a little ball and be very glad that People magazine doesn't give a crap about what I do.
  • Making them hug people they don’t want to hug 5 of 9
    Making them hug people they don't want to hug
    Ugh, God, I HATED this when I was a kid, and yet? I do it all the freaking time. "Hug him!" "Hug her!" "Creep yourself out so Mommy can walk away feeling better!" Yup, it's weird for sure.
  • Scaring them for our benefit 6 of 9
    Scaring them for our benefit
    You know, like when you say that if they don't brush their teeth, tiny invisible worms are going to start eating their enamel in the middle of the night. Which is partially true, but MOUTH WORMS?
  • Hiding in the bathroom for longer than 25 minutes 7 of 9
    Hiding in the bathroom for longer than 25 minutes
    Show me a mom who doesn't hide in a bathroom and I'll show you a full-time domestic staff. But there are limits to what you can get away with without, you know, scarring the smalls. And we've all gone over them.
  • Forcing them to eat things they REALLY don’t want to 8 of 9
    Forcing them to eat things they REALLY don't want to
    I mean, nutrition is one thing, forced adventurousness another. And I've definitely forced and adventure or two.
  • Being their parents 9 of 9
    Being their parents
    Yes. It's true. Because seriously, how many times do we all think in a day, Well, hope therapy/a bath/more ice cream takes care of this one? And yet the kids survive. They survive everything on this list, and even the mouth-feeding of their celebrity mamas. So lighten up, folks. We're all gonna make it. Even if some of us are gagging.

More moms react to Alicia’s mouth feeding:

She’s Like A Bird (So Should I Not Judge Her for Feeding Her Baby Like One?)

A Modest Proposal for All Parents

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