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A Fat’s Girl Defense Of Jeggings

So, here’s the thing: I like jeggings.

I like them a LOT.

See, I’m fat. Not “chubby,” not “carrying a few extra pounds,” I’m FULL-ON FAT. And I carry a lot of weight in my belly and hips area. So this means that jeans? Well, jeans often don’t fit well.

Not that I don’t have several pairs of jeans; I do. I have two pairs that actually “fit” me very well. But there’s an issue; see, sometime in the last few years the jean-producing universe decided that jeans should begin below the waist, meaning they have shorter zippers and hit you below the belly button.

But with my body shape? Well, I need MOM JEANS. Besides being fat, I’m also short-waisted (meaning my waist starts about three inches below my bra), so I need full-waisted jeans that have long ass zippers.

Because when I wear the jeans that are meant to go below the waist? Well, let’s say that “muffin top” doesn’t even begin to define what happens.

So, what ended up happening is I never wear those two pairs of jeans unless I’m going out to one of those not-quite fully casual events where I needed to wear a nice pair of jeans. I’d spend the evening standing and holding in my sizable stomach, and then I’d only sit down if I had a table to hide the beyond-muffin-top situation.

I have one other pair of jeans, but… yeah. They are full-on mom jeans that I bought a million years ago, but since I’ve been on a quest to be smaller, well, they fall down when I wear them. Yes, I could wear a belt but that doesn’t solve problem #2 for me with jeans.

All of my jeans, even the smaller pairs, fit my waist and hips but not my thighs. In fact, they bag so alarmingly at my thighs that if a strong wind blew they could turn into sails and I’d be off to Oz (particularly my pair of “mom jeans”). So I was stuck; I needed some jeans to wear for everyday, but where could I even find regular mom jeans these days?

So it was off to the Fat Clothing Store, where I found myself half-heartedly pawing through the stacks of jeans hoping that I’d find a pair that would work. The sales woman approached me and asked if she could help, so I told her my dilemma, asking WHERE ARE THE MOM JEANS?

She looked at my belly, butt, and legs and said, “Girl, skip the jeans. You should try some jeggings.”

I knew what jeggings were, of course. But in my mind they were basically The Pajama Jeans which, while they sounded rather awesome, weren’t something you could leave the house in. But the woman held up a hand shushing my objections, and then handed me a pair of… what looked like jeans. They were stretchy denim, had real and not-painted-on back pockets, and were thick like jeans and not thin like leggings.

Dubiously, I took them to the dressing room and…

The heavens opened and angels sang. The jeggings fit PERFECTLY.

The elastic (YES ELASTIC, SHUT UP) waist was snug at my waist line, the back pockets hit my big ol’ ass at just the right place, and best of all they fit my legs and thighs with just enough looseness to hang like jeans and not be skin tight like leggings.

AMAZING.

Best of all, I instantly looked like I’d lost 50 pounds. Seriously, it completely highlighted the weight I’ve lost and made me look much, much smaller (and I was pleased to note they were three sizes smaller than my baggy jeans, sweet!). My husband was shocked when he saw me in them.

Additionally, because they don’t make me muffin top, shirts hang better and look so nice. I can’t believe it.

So, I gotta say: I’m all about the jeggings now. I’m gonna buy two more pairs. Also, the Jeggings Rap is now my new theme song. REPRESENT, YO.

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