Recently I went to the loveliest little backyard in Brooklyn for a girls’ garden party… complete with a firepit and s’mores and lights hanging over head. It was magical. But mostly, it was magical because of the women I know. We have deep roots. We show up with meals when someone has a baby. We circle around when someone gets divorced or has a death in the family. We really are more like family. But what’s interesting is a lot of these women are likely ones I would not have crossed paths with due to geography, different stages of life, different socio-economic backgrounds, etc. Our close friendships aren’t even because we’ve spent many years together (a lot of people that come through Brooklyn are very transient.) Yet, we have quickly become dear friends.
How is this possible?! Well, I’ve lived in Brooklyn 13 years and have seen this pattern of deep friendships developing over and over and over again in the city. I also know New York can be a very lonely place for a lot of people, and so I’ve tried to figure out the secret to this. Here’s my answer:
-When you serve someone, you develop a love and friendship with them.
-When someone serves you, you develop a love and friendship with them.
A lot of the women I hang out with live this way – they serve each other and watch out for each other. And I really think this way of life is what leads to the most amazing friendships. It cuts through all insecurities, social, economic, academic or geographic boundaries. It gets right to the core of what connects people the most: love & friendship.
Here are some ideas for anyone who wants to grow their friendships in New York (or anywhere). Do these things regularly, and watch your life become so rich with meaningful friendships, you won’t even be able to keep up with them all.
SEE 13 IDEAS AFTER THE JUMP – Including some pictures of New York, to remind us that it’s the connections we have with people in New York that make this place awesome – not just scenery!
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