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Mara Kofoed

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Mara Kofoed is a wife, New Yorker of 12 years, and former entrepreneuer (Harvey Faircloth). She is planning for a family and blogs about her past struggle with infertility and divorce at her personal site, A Blog About Love.

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Not Cute Days

By Mara Kofoed |

Do any of you have days when you just don’t feel cute?

I think not feeling good about ourselves is a widespread problem due to the huge emphasis on beauty in our world – but I think there are some things we can do about it.

And we should.  Because let’s face it – - – that’s not the kind of woman that any of us would want to be.  That’s not the kind of woman we would want our daughters to be.

I’ve tried to really be at peace with myself even on my “not feeling cute days”….and it totally works.  It works so well that it is now extremely rare that I even have those ridiculous thoughts.  In case this is helpful….

Here’s my strategy:

-I tell myself that it will pass.  It always does.

-I tell myself that it’s probably hormones.  It usually is.

-If a thought creeps in, I see it as a reminder that I probably need to take better care of myself.  I usually need more fresh air.  I need to go for a run or walk.  I need to see the sun (which is actually a luxury in New York).  I need to drink more water.

-I put a hat on (every woman needs some cute hats around.  They do wonders.)

-I remind myself about my worth!!  Duh.  We all still have it, even on not cute days.

-I channel some reasons to feel cheerful, happy and grateful – cause the last thing I would want to do is sulk and feel annoyed and bring my sweet husband into such a little mess.

-I remind myself that not feeling cute leads to not looking cute.  (It’s really, really hard to look cute when you don’t feel cute.)

-And if all else fails, I consider if I really need to address something simple that legitimately could use some attention.  i.e.  Maybe I desperately need a new haircut (like right now!!).  Or maybe I’ve been holding out on buying something that I really could use (i.e. I haven’t purchased some good old blue jeans since I first met Danny 3 years ago…and so I have my eye on these.)

Do you have days when you just don’t feel cute?  Do you have a strategy for getting through it?  I’d love to hear!  I am sure we all could use some ideas.  :)




A big thanks to Levi’s for sponsoring this campaign.  Click here to see more of the discussion.


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About Mara Kofoed


Mara Kofoed

Mara Kofoed is a wife, New Yorker of 12 years, and former entrepreneuer (Harvey Faircloth). She is planning for a family and blogs about her past struggle with infertility and divorce at her personal site, A Blog About Love. Read bio and latest posts → Read Mara's latest posts →

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12 thoughts on “Not Cute Days

  1. Corine says:

    I love this post! It exactly what every girl at some point or even experience on a monthly basis, if you know what I mean. On days, I don’t feel cute, I put a dress on; business dress, summer dress, skirt, whatever; to me it makes me feel more feminine and helps dilutes that not so cute feeling. Thank you for this post, it was very helpful.

  2. Emily says:

    There’s nothing wrong with a little retail therapy when you’re feeling down. Life’s too short not to feel cute all the time!

  3. Pam S says:

    I bought the Tattly temporary tattoo (2 for $5) that says——be happy—–and applied it on the inside of my forearm. It makes me smile and feel “cool” without the permanency of a real tattoo. It’s helped me get through the last couple of weeks.

  4. riley says:

    I agree with Corine, whenever I’m not feeling cute I pull out one of my favorite brightly colored sundresses (yes, even in winter haha I just add tights and a cardigan). It always works wonders and makes me feel SO much cuter! Plus a sundress is so much more flattering than a bulky sweater or the unforgiving waistband of a pair of pants.

  5. Lisa says:

    Oh God! Such a relief I am not the only one having those days. And the worst is like you say Mara, you are trapped into actually not looking good. This happens to me when my hair lacks volume, when my face has blemishes or zits, when I need hair removal in visible parts and of course when you realize you gained a few kg. What works for me is getting a long good shower, as fresh hair somehow makes me feel good. Sometimes a bright lip stain would do the trick.
    But most of all, telling yourself that you don’t have the right to ruin your day just because you assume you look not that good (aka as you think you should look – stereotypes) should be the easy way to overcome such days.
    Thank you Mara for the great topics you choose!

  6. Rachel says:

    I love this advice! Mara, you are such an inspiration!

  7. jessica brown says:

    Every day. Hard to look cute when you don’t feel cute!

  8. Emily @ Live Renewed says:

    This is such good advice! I especially like the one about taking better care of ourselves. That is so easy to get pushed to the back as a mama, and it’s true a little walk, sunshine, and a glass of water can do wonders for my mood – even though they have nothing to do with how I actually look!

  9. Kelly says:

    I love the hat idea! I don’t have one but I always think women who wear them are so chic!

  10. Bebé says:

    Do you ever not have a cute day? You’re so beautiful! — these are great tips tho thnx! :)

  11. Meghan says:

    I have a berry colored sweater that *always* makes me feel better, so I usually pull it out when I’m having an off day. Luckily, we live on the coast in central CA, so there are very few days of the year when it’s too warm to wear it (at least in the mornings!).

  12. Elizabeth says:

    This is such great advice! I’m going to refer to this next time I have one of those not cute days.

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