Alicia Silverstone and Mouth-Feeding: A Modest Proposal for All Parents

alicia silverstone mouth-feedingLet me start out by saying that I am a longtime Alicia Silverstone fan. In fact, “Clueless” is one of my all-time favorite rom-coms, and if you’ve never seen an even younger AC in “The Crush,” you’re missing out. She nailed the role of a precociously creepy 14-year-old, dangerously obsessed with Farmhand Westley from “The Princess Bride.” And who can forget her star turn(s) in those classic 90s Aerosmith videos? Not me! That’s for sure.

This week, however, the Alicia Silverstone film work that’s getting the most attention is a video she posted on her own website in which she “mouth feeds” her 11-month-old son, Bear Blu by chewing his food up for him. The video, along with her accompanying commentary have certainly become quite the hot online topic in the past couple of days, with lots of debate and chatter among parents as to whether they would or should pre-chew their babies’ food.

I’m not really sure how I feel about parents chewing up food for their babies, but I do know that I am TOTALLY in favor of kids chewing up food for their parents. Now THAT’S a concept that I can really get behind, and I am hoping that with the current interest in Ms. Silverstone’s mom-to-baby mouth-feeding video, people will consider the multiple benefits that would accrue to kids, parents, families and society at large if children were required, or at least strongly encouraged to begin nom-nomming comestibles for their mothers and fathers to then eat.

FIVE TRULY EXCELLENT REASONS WHY AMERICA’S YOUTH NEED TO IMMEDIATELY BEGIN CHEWING OUR FOOD UP FOR US

(just click the arrow to the right of each photo below to read next one)

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  • Reason #1: ENCOURAGES SHARING 1 of 5
    Reason #1: ENCOURAGES SHARING
    When children are urged to hand over the food they've just chewed up - without getting to actually swallow it - it helps them learn that sharing truly is caring.
  • Reason #2: IMPROVES CHILDREN’S WORK ETHIC 2 of 5
    Reason #2: IMPROVES CHILDREN'S WORK ETHIC
    Kids today are NOTORIOUSLY lazy, and as parents, we really need to look for teachable moments to instill that all-important work ethic in our offspring. By requiring kids to chew food for us, and then observe our enjoyment as we eat the fruits of their labor, children will learn for themselves that there really is satisfaction in a job well done.
  • Reason #3: HELPS FIGHT CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC 3 of 5
    Reason #3: HELPS FIGHT CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC
    We've all heard the terrifying statistics regarding the exploding percentage of overweight American children. Just imagine how quickly our kids would shrink if WE actually ate and took in the calories for the food they chewed up... INSTEAD OF THEM.
  • Reason #4: ASSISTS KIDS IN LEARNING TO HANDLE FRUSTRATION 4 of 5
    Reason #4: ASSISTS KIDS IN LEARNING TO HANDLE FRUSTRATION
    Child psychologists tell us that kids who learn to handle delayed gratification are healthier boys and girls who turn into emotionally mature adults. By forcing our kids to present us with the tasty, just-chewed food they've yet to swallow, and eating it ourselves right in front of them, kids will develop the healthy coping skills that will serve them well for their rest of their lives.
  • Reason #5: TEACHES RESPECT FOR ELDERS 5 of 5
    Reason #5: TEACHES RESPECT FOR ELDERS
    Today's cheeky and impertinent youngsters really don't get enough schooling in the traditional lesson of respecting and honoring adults. What better way to reinforce their understanding that adults are the ones running the show than by requiring them to chew our food for us at each and every meal?

I hope that after considering the case I’ve made for the value of children “mouth-feeding” their parents, you have come around to my point of view. Frankly, I can’t imagine any loving, responsible parent not getting with the program once he or she realizes its many benefits.

As for me, you can count on having the chance to view my own “mouth-feeding” video over on my personal website just as soon as I convince my children that this is actually a really good idea.

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MORE ON BABBLE VOICES:
Should I Judge Her for Feeding Her Baby Like a Bird?

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