I can’t believe I just typed those words. Even at 28 weeks along, the emotions I assumed would subside shortly after the first trimester are still kicking (as is this creature inside me – and with force, I might add). On a daily basis, my hormones are teeter-tottering back and forth between sheer terror, utter joy and immense anticipation to meet this sweet little child within.
I wasn’t the type of woman who always knew she was destined to be a mother. You know the kind: at age 4, she’s nursing her Barbies and explaining the importance of simple sugars vs. amino acids. Indeed, I was the opposite. I was the girl that, instead, chopped my Barbie’s hair and sent her into the corporate world to meet Lawyer Ken and become the Mattel Power Couple.
So what am I doing now? How am I going to pull off this whole motherhood thing?
Answer: I have no earthly idea. I’m crossing my fingers that the instinct will kick in sometime before this child’s 18th birthday and I won’t completely scar her for life. But what I do know is this: I have you. I have this village of mothers surrounding me. Encouraging me. Advising me when I don’t understand the distinction between Moxie Girlz and Bratz (and then telling me it’s okay to dislike both). Empathizing with me when there are three different types of bodily fluids on my shirt and none of them are mine.
I find it fitting that Mother’s Day is this weekend, as I’m looking to you, mothers, to help me through this journey. I’ll be sharing my pregnancy emotions, thoughts and issues here each week and looking for your guidance every step of the way – and beyond. I have a funny feeling that when this long road is over and I’ve raised a child I’m proud of? I’ll owe you big time, Internet.
Perhaps then I can pay you back with an insanely awesome Barbie bob. I’m really great at those.