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Jane Roper

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Jane Roper is the author of the memoir Double Time: How I Survived–and Mostly Thrived–Through the First Three Years of Mothering Twins and blogger at JaneRoper.com. Her writing has appeared on Babble, Salon, The Huffington Post, The Rumpus, and the upcoming anthology The Push: Birth Stories for the 21st Century. Jane lives in the Boston area with her husband and twin daughters.

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12 Great Tips for New Parents of Twins

By Jane Roper |

I was recently trolling back through some old blog posts of mine to fix some technical-y-Search-Engine-y stuff, and came across a post I wrote last June in which I offered up some somewhat unexpected advice for new moms of twins. And it got me thinking: maybe it would be fun to get some of your advice for new parents of multiples—along with that of some fellow Babble writers—and compile it here.

Also, I confess: I’m having a bit of a dip mood-wise (Ah, my old pal depression. I wish you’d just send postcards instead of feeling the need to visit. You may miss me, but I really don’t miss you. At all. Ever). And when I feel this way, words don’t come as easily. Whereas making cute little graphics in Photoshop (which you’ll see below) does.

Anyway, I put out the call on Facebook for your advice, and got tons of responses. ‘Twas glorious!

A lot of the same advice came up again and again: Get help. Get them on the same schedule. Hang in there. Etc. So it was hard to choose which tips to feature, but here were my favorites — all of which rang very true to me — in no particular order. Enjoy. Add your advice in the comments. And pass this along to any new or expectant parents of multiples that you know.

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12 Great Tips for New Parents of Twins

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DOUBLE TIME, my memoir of parenting twins and battling depression (among other things) is available for pre-order! Order before May 8, and I’ll send you a free signed bookplate! Click for details.

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More on Babble: Sh*t people say to moms of twins

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About Jane Roper

janeroper

Jane Roper

Jane Roper is the author of the memoir Double Time: How I Survived–and Mostly Thrived–Through the First Three Years of Mothering Twins and blogger at JaneRoper.com. Jane lives in the Boston area with her husband and twin daughters.

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18 thoughts on “12 Great Tips for New Parents of Twins

  1. April says:

    Very cool Jane!

    I was one of the ones that said write down everything like meds and feedings and diaper changes because you will be so tired you won’t remember what you did 10 minutes ago and when you have other people helping it keeps people from double dosing babies with meds and what not.

    For the germs and hands off part I recommend http://www.mytinyhands.com for their little signs to hang on the car seat and stroller. Those work miracles. I used them and got lots of compliments on them. I give them out to every new mom as part of their baby gift from me and everyone loves them!

  2. Emily says:

    Swaddle, swaddle, swaddle!!

  3. Melissa says:

    I’m actually hosting a dinner for expectant mother’s of multiples tonight. Is there any way to get that slide show as a pdf so that I could show it to them? I think the advice is so perfect!

  4. Diana @Hormonal Imbalances says:

    I just found out we’re expecting twins and we have a 2 year old. Thanks so very much for this post. I plan on rereading it as much as I can in the months to come. :)

  5. Jane Roper says:

    @Emily — Oh, yes, good one!! Swaddling was a lifesaver for us.
    /
    @Melissa — just emailed you. :-)
    /
    @Diana: Congratulations!!

  6. Shreela says:

    Hi, Great advice! As a recent mom of two little girls my lifesaver was investing in a good breastpump and getting someone else to feed the babies when I needed a break!

  7. Robin says:

    In addition, when you go out anywhere, budget in an extra half hour for all the people who will stop you wanting to ask a million questions. I was continually late because every other person we came across wanted to know if they were twins, if they were identical, if I took fertility drugs, if there were twins in my family, if I had a C-section, how I tell them apart, if I am “done,” if I have my hands full, if I have any other kids, and on and on. Consider getting a shirt printed up with the answers to all of the questions.

  8. Natasha says:

    ONe of the best pieces of advice I got when I was pregnant with my identical boys (now 5) was to always put them on the same side for photos. My son Jack was always on the right and Dylan on the left. You will know who is who in those early newborn photos where they always look the same!

  9. Sandy says:

    We had twin boys & a petit 2 1/2yr girl – The T-shirt full of answers idea was very close to a reality for us! 4000 questions later we are finally done grocery shopping!!! My snarkiest answer to “Are they twins???” was “No their Triplets, she was born first…(duh – do you really think you’re the only person to ask us that?)”

    Best advice came from another twin mom “No baby has ever died from crying” put’em down in a safe place & walk away. Get them on the same time table & write it down, If you can get them to “double dutch” for nursing go for it!! We got to the point where nursing was 20mins flat if they were at the same time.

  10. Sarah says:

    Mine are 18 months old now, and of all the questions, I think I’ll be getting a t-shirt printed that says “yes, they are identical. except her penis.”

    Seriously though, #3 is very important. Although I didn’t ask for diapers. I told anyone who asked that I needed a casserole and zucchini bread. People love cooking for you, and when you have as much pride as I once did, asking for food seemed easier somehow than asking for help cleaning, or grocery shopping.

  11. lea says:

    Best advice would be to ignore any advice from people who have never had twins. My MIL who never had twins or knew anyone with twins pretty much thought that twins are easier than a singleton, even as newborns. If someone has not had them, do not take their advice. Another is never get in between their fights or take sides unless it is physical. Just trust your owm instincts and ignore the negatives.

  12. jenn/hippygoth says:

    This is super-timely. My sister just found out she is pregnant with twins! I’ll be sending her a link to your blog. ;) Meanwhile, my 4 yr old, whose best friends are identical twin boys, and whose auntie is now pregnant with twins wants to know why I “only grew one baby.” Sorry, kiddo, no retroactive twinning.

  13. Oz says:

    This is just awesome advice in general, even for future parents of singletons. Everyone could use more diapers!

  14. Anjuli says:

    Good advice! I recently discovered your blog via a CAMOM member.
    We have B/G twins who will be 1 in May. It was a shock for us when we found out we were going to have twins and I think we still haven’t recovered completely :D . We love our babies and wouldn’t change anything despite the craziness that comes with dealing with multiples :D . I agree, we are blessed!

    All of this sounds so familiar :) . Not to mention, getting stopped at grocery stores or any stores ALL the time with Qs. Then, most importantly, are they identical? Granted, I don’t dress them in pink/blue. I avoid it if I can. But, You can clearly tell with mine that 1 is a boy and 1 is a girl. Yet, it NEVER fails.

    Oh, Our kids hated being swaddled. We tried it for 2 weeks after they were born and decided not to torture them after that. They slept fine without it.

  15. Anjuli says:

    Oh I forgot to mention that I was told to accept any help I could get after their birth. To be honest, I was skeptical as in…nah, we will be ok. It would be fine etc etc. My parents were supposed to come stay with us and we were thinking for the time frame and I said…3 months should be more than enough. And, I still didn’t think we would need help.

    Boy! was I wrong. I am SO grateful they stayed with us for 3 months and helped us out. I have NO recollection of the first 2 month. They were such a blur. And, I wish they could have stayed another couple months. Anyhow, we survived, thanks to the support :)

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