6 Easy Steps to a Gorgeous Christmas Wreath!
As you may already know, I am not what you’d call a crafty person. (Cunning, yes. But inclined toward making crafts, no.) We usually go half-assed or store-bought when it comes to things like holiday decorations.
But last week, I was feeling inspired. I’d noticed so many lovely (and not-so-lovely) wreaths on doors around town, that I was wishing we had one of our own. A real, evergreen one would have been ideal, but the $20 – $40 they can cost is a lot, given that they’re a one-time-use item.
Fake evergreen wreaths, on the other hand, can look very, well, fake. So I decided I would make a wreath — something simple, festive and tasteful that would last for years to come. Here’s how it went down:
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1. Off to the craft store!
My plan was to find a basic vine wreath, and then trim it with fake berries or bows or ornaments or whatever else in the store caught my eye. So exciting!! I wore my pilliest sweater, just for the occasion.
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2. Look what I found!
Everything was going according to plan -- vine wreath, fake berries, bow, all for under $25 total -- when I spotted an incredibly realistic-looking fake pine wreath. Complete with adorable, tiny little pine cones. And it was the last one. Fate!!
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3. Should I or shouldn't I?
But -- damn -- $49.99. A lot more than I was planning to spend on my Awesome Homemade Wreath. But amortized over the 50 years I planned to use it, that was less than the price of a cup of coffee per year. How could I NOT buy it? (And it was *imported,* too! So exotic!)
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4. Score!
In an amazing feat of organization, I'd actually managed to bring a $10 off coupon with me. Which was fabulous. But when I got to the register I discovered that my dream wreath was HALF OFF!! (Which was extra nice given that I'd found a whole bunch of other stuff that I really, really needed.)
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5. Affixing the bow
Now, I put my crafting magic to work. I took the pre-made bow that I'd bought (complete with adorable jingle bells!) and affixed it to the wreath using the twist tie on the back. It wasn't easy, but I powered through. I couldn't wait to put my wreath up on the door, snap a pic, post it to Pinterest and start getting "liked" and re-pinned all the hell over the place.
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6. Doh!
But when I went to hang up my Martha Stewart-esque wreath (Isn't it gorgeous? Aren't you jealous?) I remembered that our door is a piece of shit: it's metal, and filled with styrofoam. So you can't nail anything into it. Dammit!
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7. Stop
And, finally, this is my husband giving me his "please stop making me take ridiculous pictures of you for some stupid narrative slideshow" look. He doesn't give a crap whether we have a wreath or not. He just wants me to figure out a way to hang it the hell up so it's not sitting in the foyer getting in the way. (He just doesn't appreciate the crafting process.)
Bottom line: I’m awful darn proud of the thing. And look forward to enjoying it for the next 50 years.
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OMG, Jane, I love this post! I can’t stop smiling. We need more people like you, telling’ it like it is! Forget these scenarios where you get the girls on board too and create a homemade wreath for under $5 and everybody lives happily ever after with a wreath on her door.
On a side note, we also have the metal door. After a couple of years of sighing about it, I realized that’s what over-the-door wreath hangers are for. Have you seen them? They’re only a couple of dollars. They’re like a super long S (not a good description here). You hook one end over top of door, and the other end holds the wreath. No nails, no hooks, no glue…
two words: wreath hook
(they have glittery ones that RULE)
(O wait, that’s what Amy above just said)… one word: Ditto
wreath is fab-u!
3M Command Hooks! They stick to anything smooth-ish. And you can get nifty brushed-metal looking ones. You can take it down, or leave it up for your other decorations.
Better yet, leave the hook and the wreath up, take off that bow, and put on a flag for President’s Day. Or a heart for Valentine’s Day. Or a rodent for Groundhog’s Day. Or a shamrock for St. Patrick’s. This way, instead of amortizing over years, you’ve amortized over months AND you don’t have to figure out how to lovingly store that wreath.
Hey Jane,
Our Trader Joe’s (though I know how you feel about TJ’s!) sells wreaths that are simple but under $10, if I recall correctly. (I just remember looking at them and thinking of the $20 I spent to support a tutee’s high school crew team–next year it’s TJ’s for us!)
Ha! I love the new(ish?) hair color. Very flattering on you. And you just need a wreath hook. Like, $3 at Target. I made a wreath a couple years back by purchasing a wreath in January at 90% off, squirrelling it away into my basement, then wrapping it with some red ribbon and hanging an H for our last name in the middle. It’s shiny.
Wreath hooks!! I think I saw some of those at the craft store, actually, and thought: “what the hell are those things?” Now I know!! Thank you!
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And Kayt, thank you — it’s actually just my natural color! I stopped highlighting about a year ago because I got sick of spending three hours (I have a lot of hair) and $130 bucks every 2-3 months. (Although usually it was more like 4 because I am a hair slacker, so I always had roots.)
Jane, that adorable wreath, your face and that caption “My door is a piece of shit” just made my whole night. Not that I’m delighting in your uneventful event of wreath making, but you show a welcome and realistic depiction. If I had a photo of our tree outing, you probably would see me giving my husband the middle finger. Oh yes, the holidays brings out the best in us!!
Nice work on the wreath!
Seconding the wreath hook rec. I had several years where I was depressed about a lack of wreath and then someone asked me why I just didn’t get a wreath hook, and I was all, “WHA?!” Now, we have a gorgeous FAKE wreath – twenty bucks at Target!
The wreath is up! The wreath is up! Visit my facebook page and see it in all its glory. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Baby-Squared/356044252940
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Thank you all for your assistance! God, I’m an idiot.
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