One of the many roles of the parent (and in our household it tends to be specifically the mother, that is, me) is healer. So when children have illnesses or boo-boos or non-specific ennui, it falls to us to make it all better.
By observing the most common afflictions in our family, I can offer up the following protocols for diagnosing and treating typical ailments in the three-to-five-year-old set. This does not constitute professional medical advice. Please consult your pediatrician for specific recommendations.
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The Imaginary Cold
: Forced coughing, calculatingly worried expressions (possibly with the hint of a smile) accompanied by phrases you have recently said while having a (real) virus of your own or while commenting on a (real) virus of theirs in the past, such as: “I’m afraid I’m a little sick,” and “I think I’m a little warm.” Requests that you feel their forehead or use the “themom-a-tah” to take their temperature. Impassioned pleas for medicine.
: Check temperature. Ignore. If complaints persist, tell them that they’d better get into bed and get some rest. Or tell them we’d better go to the doctor. (Note: this last technique effective only in children with fear of going to the doctor. Counter-indicated in children who relish drama, and love the idea of having to be fussed over.)Photo credit: stock.xchng
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Anything you other expert healers out there would like to add to the body of amateur little kid medical advice?
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