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Backseat Wisdom: Episode 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following conversations were overheard from the backseat while driving my 11-year-old daughter and her best friend around town.  This is how I learn everything important.

On Who’s Cuter in The Hunger Games

“Anyone who thinks Gale is cuter than Peeta must be crazy, or an alien.”

“I know. If I liked kissing boys, I’d totally make out with Peeta all the time.”

“Well, you have that T-shirt with Peeta on it. You could make out with that someday.”

“Ewww! Maybe.”

 

On Current Music Trends

“I think Carly Rae Jepsen should sing every song ever written.”

“Totally.”

“Except for the ones we sing in our band when we’re famous, of course.”

“Well, duh.”

 

On Politics

“I’m voting for Obama because he likes gay people,  but I sort of want to vote for the other guy.”

“Why?”

“He has the best hair for a president.”

 

On The Rigors of Academia

“I think my Math teacher is going to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Because she’s diabolical.”

“How will she kill you?”

“She’ll kill me with MATH.  Duh.”

 

On International Relations

“I never want to go to France, ever.”

“Why? I bet France is awesome.”

“Well, if the people over there are anything like my French teacher, they speak nothing but French, like, all the time.”

“Oh. Yea, that’s lame.”

 

On Oppression

“I totally wanted to be Katniss Everdeen for Halloween, but not anymore.”

“Why not?”

“They won’t allow real arrows at school. It’s so stupid and unfair. If I have to have suction cup ones, it’s not even worth it.”

 

On Proper Nutrition

“If you eat too much raw cookie dough, you’ll get really bad diarrhea because of bacteria.”

“No WAY.”

“It’s true. That’s how Justin Bieber’s first girlfriend died.”

 

On Social Status

“I’m never going to be a Mean Girl.”

“I know. I hate those girls.”

“So let’s agree that we’ll NEVER be mean like them.”

“Totally.”

“I mean, except if we have to be mean to those other Mean Girls, because they’re being mean first. Then they deserve it.”

 

On Confidentiality

“WAIT — I think my Dad is listening to us.”

“He can’t hear us.”

“He’s being really quiet up there.”

“Maybe he’s just concentrating on driving.”

“Or maybe he’s just trying to trick us. He’s tricky. You seriously can’t trust him.”

 

She’s right. You seriously can’t.

 

Seth Taylor writes about parenting at DadCentric, and on his own blog The Didactic Pirate.   Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

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