The Supermodel Plan (aka – how exercise is gonna kill me)
In January, I made my annual resolution: lose weight. Yeah, I know, real original. Generally, this resolution lasts until about January 2nd, give or take a day. This year, however, I’ve stuck with it. Or maybe I haven’t exactly stuck with it, but I haven’t completely given up on it either. I’ve been making careful food decisions, choosing vegetables over cookies, fruit over pasta, sawdust bars over chocolate. Despite that, the weight has been coming off pretty slowly so I finally came to terms with the fact that I can no longer count brushing my teeth and fastening my sandals as exercise. I need to add actual exercise — the kind that makes you sweat and scream in pain — to my repertoire.
I’m doing this for myself. I’ve neglected myself a lot over the years. Having six kids kinda does that to you. The past couple years especially have been tough. I know the kids have had a rough time dealing with the divorce and the way their dad has changed. I know they’ve had a difficult time adjusting to the move. I’ve been dedicated to ensuring their well-being at all costs. Every moment, every decision I make, everything I do is spent with their best interest in mind. If I have a spare moment, it’s given to my kids, whether it’s helping them with homework, talking to them, teaching them life skills, or even working so I can make enough money to pay for football sign-up or a dress for the dance, etc.
I don’t regret any of those choices. I’ve done what needed to be done and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.  But now that we’re all developing a new sense of normal and getting into a good groove and adjusting pretty well, I feel the need to take some time for myself. I’m pushing the selfish feelings I have aside and, much like the airline safety video states, I’m putting on my own oxygen mask so I can better assist others.
I have a plan.  I’ve named it the Supermodel Plan. By the end of summer, I will look like a supermodel, or I’ll at least look good enough that no one will try to push me back in the ocean when I’m lying on the beach.
How hard could it be, right? I mean, when I look at the dating profiles of all these guys, I see so many of them state they like working out. They even include pictures of themselves at the gym. They’re smiling in the pictures, and they look like they enjoy working out. If all those guys can do it, I can totally do it too, I convinced myself.
Today, I opted to go for a walk. I dug out my tennis shoes and found a pair of socks. Clay took one look at me and asked, “What’s on your feet?” That’s how often I wear shoes. My own son was confused and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t barefoot or clad in flip flops. I walked outside, popped in my earbuds, fired up my iPod and started down the street at a fast clip. Heck, I was practically jogging I was going so fast. I got to the end of the street, rounded the corner, and slowed down because my feet were hot. I considered ditching my shoes and continuing barefoot, but thought it would probably be bad if I stepped on something sharp. I walked on toward the lake.
A couple weeks ago, I tried walking around the track at school, but after two laps, I got tired and quit. By walking to the lake, it’s tough luck if I get tired because I still have to walk back home. I’m pretty sure this method has been deemed torture by Amnesty International and the Geneva Convention, but I force myself to do it anyway.
As I walked on, I became aware of the fact that I could no longer breathe like a normal human. I gasped and panted and groaned (and not in a good way either). I think I may have started wheezing at some point, but the blood pounding in my ears made me deaf to my breathing and moaning. Soon after I became oxygen-deprived, I got a cramp in my side. I stopped for a moment, bent over, held my side, and gasped like a fish out of water. I thought about knocking on the door of the nearest house and asking them for a ride home, but let’s face it — if someone looking like me showed up at my door, I’d call the police, not offer them a ride home. I straightened and kept going.
By this time, I was dripping wet. As I arrived at the lake, I remembered being told once that “pigs sweat, men perspire, and women glow.”  I gave a little snort to myself as my glowing-ness dripped into my eyes, down my back, between my boobs. I thought about jumping in the polluted lake to cool off before heading home. I saw an alligator which surprisingly didn’t deter me, but made me want to jump in even more simply because I figured an alligator bite equaled an ambulance ride home.
I don’t remember anything from the time I reached the lake to when I walked in my front door, but I think I may have crawled part of the way. I stumbled inside, ripped off my shoes and socks, and collapsed on the floor amid a chorus of insults from my kids. “Mom, did you just take a shower? You smell like outside. Why is your face so red? Are you dead?”
In order to attract all sorts of younger men who are physically fit, I think I’ll add this photo to my online dating profile with the caption — “I’m sexy and I know it. I work out!” What man wouldn’t find a woman who can’t walk three miles without turning beet red, going into cardiac arrest, and sweating enough to look like she’d just come out of the shower attractive, right?
I’ve made a slight adjustment to the Supermodel Plan. It’s now called the Lie Around Like a Slug All Summer Plan. I’m okay with that.
Come join Dawn over on Facebook where we have fun conversations about important things like – is it Parkay or butter?
Oh my, really does not sound like the right exercise plan for you! Do you have access to a pool anywhere? Because I hate running but swimming laps is not so bad and you come out cleaner at the end than when you started, so that’s a plus. But your slug plan sounds appealing too.
http://the-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/
What was your BP?? Your heart is in the right place, but it’s your heart you need to take care of too!
I”m all for the slug plan! LOL
One day at a time, one step at a time!
Stop and take breathers as much as you need. Take a bottle of water with you and rehydrate. Get GOOD shoes.
I went from unable to climb a flight of stairs without panting to doing five miles with a healthy sweat.
And ignore those who may go faster, better, longer. They all started at the same point you did – one step at a time, one foot in front of another!
Freaken hilarious! I beg you to add that picture to your dating profile, show them how working out reallly is. On a serious note, one thing that hit me was you feeling selfish for actually taking ‘you’ timr that will keep you here longer for the kids. Take it from me, losing my mom when I was 16 was not worth the trade-off that she was everyone’s everything instead of putting herself first sometimes. Maybe you could turn them into ‘coaches’ and sign up for some kind of walk to get and keep everyone involved? Either way good luck to you on this new endeavor (ha) and please keep it up.. I want to be able to read your blog for many more years to come!
Maybe you could start out walking halfway to the lake? Don’t give up!
You can do it! It does suck but your body will get used to it :-) I agree with someone else, take water and get some good shoes. You can find all sorts of good deals online.
When I started running last year (and I’m not suggesting you have to do that) I couldn’t breath either. I seriously thought I was going to hyperventilate. I’m pretty sure it was just because my lungs had no idea what they were supposed to do with all that air! Now, a year and a half later, it’s getting easier. I still have to catch my breath sometimes, but it’s not as often. Choosing to keep yourself alive and healthy long enough to see your kids is a good thing! It’s not really selfish.
My husband decided that we needed to start doing some walking, too, since I just started working from home. So the first day we do a 3 mile hike, part of which was straight uphill. I only stopped once, but I thought my lungs were trying to climb out of my body. I’m going to blame it on the altitude (I live in Colorado). Yeah, that’s probably it…the altitude. Not the extra 60 pounds I could lose!:-) Keep up the good work, even if your face does get all red!
Don’t give up on your supermodel plan! Like I tell a lot of moms – if you didn’t look like Heidi Klum BEFORE she had 4 kids, you’re not going to look like her AFTER either! Those kids are going to need you around for the long haul – so lace up again and have a go. Maybe take some of them with you for entertainment and/or distraction?
There are hundreds of blogs of moms who started out like you (yes, with 6 kids and middle-aged) and they’re now running marathons on a regular basis. Find one you like, follow her and find the motivation. Just today, as a matter of fact, one of my favorite mommy runner bloggers posted a list of no excuses for getting out there and doing it – http://www.shutupandrun.net. Maybe you could sign up for a 5K with your oldest 2 and make it a fun competition/family affair? Just keep swimming, er, walking!
Start slower! :) I was in your place a few years ago. I hate exercise, but I have PCOS and am insulin resistant (pre-diabetic) and losing weight is harder for me and exercise is a MUST for me also. Just eating better doesn’t do much. Walk slower and for a shorter period, then build up to the longer walk.
And BTW, even though I’m in better shape now, I still sweat like you described–some of us will just never “glow” no matter how in shape we are–besides, sweating is good for you! ;o)
I just bought a Wii and Zumba for it. I never realized how very uncoordinated I was. Glad I opted for working out at home instead of in front of people. It was fun though and I’m movitated…so far. Keep it up and pace yourself.
Keep it up! You can do it! You do look skinny. I can tell you’ve lost weight.
You just need to find a exercise routine or program that works for you. Remember you are doing this for yourself to look your best, not some supermodels best. I found a routine that had great music that I could do at home anytime I wanted and had a great instructor, so that I would want to continue doing it everyday. I would never have kept with it if I didn’t enjoy what I was doing. ]
You look like you have been doing good loosing weight so far, don’t give up on the exercise it will make a huge difference mentally and physically.
OMG!! You look like TWIGGY!! Something MUST be wrong with your scale…why are you dieting? EAT SOMETHING!!!
In other news: I do believe it is time for you to knock together another book…A collection of short stories…of course, you can select the best of your BLOGS..maybe write one or two different tales from Apopka..I KNOW I would order up a copy or two..Also..consider self-publishing…PLUS…offer this new book in the E-Reader format.
I swear, your writing is just getting better!
You look hot! Thanks for the laugh:-)
I laughed. thanks for that.
*if it makes you feel anybetter that is.
My husband and I started walking with our four kids last August as part of a lose weight program (that also included eating better like you). We both bought really good shoes which also helped our feet out. The trick is to start out small. Just walk down the street every day and back again for a week and then increase it. Every bit counts and that will increase your endurance. It also helps to go in the early morning or evening when it is cooler. We live in Texas, so it isn’t exactly tons cooler, but it helps. It is nice as a family affair. The kids love taking their bikes and we push the youngest in her stroller. I am now pregnant with our fifth and am doing it to stay more fit during pregnancy. We walk a mile and a quarter around our neighborhood at least 5 evenings a week. Good luck, and btw, I get just as red as you when I exert myself. Have ALWAYS hated that.
Oh my goodness. I laughed so hard during this post. I totally understand…now that my baby is sleeping through the night and I have been as well, I have no excuse to now not get my arse to the gym! and I have been doing pretty good with it. Keep it up, find something you love, bike, swim…and add the slugging around to that list….but don’t do nothing…
I burst out laughing when I saw your picture….you were a shade of purple I have never seen on a human before!
too funny
http://www.listymama.com
I can relate about the tennis shoes … I hate them. My daughter is a runner and she had me try on her Vibrams. I thought they would feel weird, but NO! I’m a barefoot girl and these were fantastic! You might want to give them a try, but don’t go for the cheap knock-offs … only the real thing will do.
I’m the kinda girl who has to read the last chapter of the mystery story before I can really settle in and ENJOY it, ya know? So I glance at the bottom couple of lines of your blog post, and think “Huh? Okay, Dawn’s on a diet, but who the heck is The Skinny Purple Woman in the photo?” After deciding that this was a mystery absolutely worth reading (Read the ending, and still don’t know whodunnit? Gotta read it all, baby!!), I began at the beginning. Got all the way to the bottom and was STILL wondering “Okay, okay, tell what’s up with The Skinny Purple Woman already!!!”
Dawn, wowsa!! It’s YOU, it’s YOU, it’s YOU!!! YOU are The Skinny Purple Woman!!! Get it, grrl, yer doin’ GREAT!!!!!! Seriously – WOW!
Weighing what I did right before I gave birth to my 9 pound son I feel your pain!!
Wow is that really a photo of you after working out? Or just face paint? Seriously…….that’s scary maybe one of your kids should’ve called an ambulance anyways.
Some cliches about exercise that I like:
“If you look cute when you’re done, you didn’t do it right.”
“It doesn’t matter how slow you go, you’re still lapping the guy (or girl) on the couch.”
“Sweat is fat crying.”
I’ve lost about 40 lbs in the last 6 months and if I can do it, so can you. Setting an example of a healthy lifestyle, by eating well and exercising is not just something you are doing for you. It is something you are doing for your kids. When they see YOU doing it, they know that it’s important, and they will be more likely to make the same lifestyle choices for themselves.
Leslie Sansone’s Walk at Home dvds are a good workout. The best part is that you can do it in the privacy of your own home with a fan blowing full blast on you. You just have to manage to find a time and/or space where your family can’t see you and make fun of you. Me, I get up and exercise at 6:00am to avoid the family but I know that probably wouldn’t be your first option.
I know you’re not asking for advice, but who doesn’t love unsolicited advice?
You have to start slower. If you don’t enjoy your walk (or other exercise), it is more difficult to repeat it. And one walk does not a supermodel make.
What I suggest, respectfully, is that you work up to a ‘real workout’. Start by making room in your day (most days) for a nice walk. 10, 15, 20 min – whatever you can pretty much promise you’re going to do every day. Then add intensity and time or frequency as you can and need to. By the time you’re ready for a 3 mile ‘fitness walk’ around the lake your body will have adjusted a bit. I’d say it takes about 10 days of daily walks to make a noticeable difference in your fitness level. Even if those walks are just 15 minutes.
I know it’s more usually to go ‘all in’ because exercise should hurt, right? Plus, you want results! But I promise that if you’re not a workouty-type person, finding a way to incorporate movement that you like into your daily routine is much more likely to stick (and result in Super-Dawn, as you planned.)
I actually blog about walking for exercise over here. I’m not a personal trainer (though I did work at a YMCA in the nautilus room in another life) but I am a person who has gone from a mostly sedentary lifestyle to LOVING walking and have lost a good deal of weight and gained a good deal of fitness in the mean time.
Good luck! We all want your success.
I am older than you but that is no excuse for me either. I need to start walking too but I measured off how far to start out. Not sure why but I have always hated to walk. We live on a lake so I can swim or do exercises in there but then our lake takes a long time to warm up as I like the water tempature to be 80 degrees.
Don’t give up Dawn ! Just don’t go that far until you have worked up to it.
If you pace yourself it is better too.
I will start walking everyday if I hear that you will try again !!!
So, if I don’t walk then I will blame it all on you, hehehe
Challenge me ……….
Walk indoors in malls, Wally World or any place that’s huge. Exercising outdoors will obviously kill you. Only a crazy person walks outdoors for long distances in parks, deserts or dams…
PS. Start slow, try walking from your living room to the front door. Strategically place chairs, water and oxygen to help you out in case you don’t make it that far.
Water, water, water! Drink lots and exercise IN it! You don’t sweat, it’s awesome! Everything you do in the water is almost like doubling your effort. I don’t swim, but I water walk. After awhile, i walk backwards. Sometimes I walk sideways. Sometimes I jog a bit. But no matter what I do, even when the water is bathtub temp and the sun is beating down on me, I don’t sweat! I am one happy (big) Mama! ;)
I have decided to change the words to that “I’m sexy and I know it” song. Here goes:
I’m fluffy and I know it, I eat out
Jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle jiggle, WHAT!
My daughter Stacie (who I think you know from some Mommy group) also has 6 children, although some of hers are older. She lost a lot of weight before she started exercising. Her favorite exercise is running. After her husband abandoned their family she ran so much her insides starting falling out though! But you need to talk to her about the diet she was on. She had a lot of weight to lose and this really worked for her. Ironically, her husband left after she looked so cute again!
Ok, besides the fact that that’s what *I* look like after exercising… Are you really that skinny now!? You look amazing! (Besides looking like death from the “walk”.) Lol. Keep it up! Your body will thank you! :)