Halloween Fail
I used to be a good mom, I did! I used to start brainstorming ideas for creative Halloween costumes during the summer. I made awesome costumes for my kids year after year. (My sister is really the creative one as you’ll see from the pictures, but I held my own.) I was the room mom for my kids’ classes every single year. I organized great parties with the best games and I made homemade goodies that would turn Martha Stewart green with envy. The mom I am now would hate the guts of the mom I was back then. I would call that mom an overachiever and a stuck-up Miss June Cleaver. And that hatred would be fueled by pure jealously. As I’m sure you can tell by my posts over the last year, I’m having issues and struggling with feelings of inadequacy. I know on an intellectual level that I’m in a different place and simply cannot do all the things I used to do as a married, stay-at-home-mom. I know this. But still, there’s this little part of me that cannot help but lament the mom I once was (even while wanting to punch her face in at the same time). Yes, yes I know I probably need psychiatric help.
Anyway, the begining of October when my kids asked me, “What are we going to be for Halloween?” I brushed them off and replied, “I dunno. I can’t think about that right now.” Two days before Hallween, they asked again, “What are we going to be?”
I thought for a minute, then answered, “Well, you have a choice. You can be yourself or you can look in the Hallween box or dress-up box and throw together some sort of outfit. Or, hey! I know! You can wear your cheer and football uniforms!” Then, under my breath, “I paid enough for those. You might as well get use out of them. Or you could be a hobo and wear those ripped up, too-small jeans you were trying to squeeze into yesterday. No, no no! I’ve got it! How about I just buy you guys some bags of candy and we go out for pizza instead of trick-or-treating?”
I thought that plan was brilliant! A relaxing evening out with my kids sounded fabulous to me! Why hadn’t I thought of this years ago? They were less-than-thrilled with my helpful suggestions, but in the end they accepted the fact that I’d become a crappy busy mom and this was the best I could do.
In case you were like me this year and didn’t think about Halloween until a week before, I’ll help you out for next year. Here are some ideas, taken from my Martha Stewart days, you can use for next year’s costumes. (I would’ve helped you out with these ideas earlier this month, but that would’ve ruined the whole Halloween Failure Thing I’ve got going on.)
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Penguin & Elephant
Back when I was a good mom, I came up with creative, homemade costumes for my kids. Here are Austin and Savannah in cute (and warm) penguin and elephant costumes made from cheap sweatsuits I got at Walmart.
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Jimmy Neutron
I made Jimmy's hair out of foam that I cut, molded, hot glued, and spray-painted. I used fabric paint for the design on a cheap t-shirt from Michael's, and he wore his own blue shorts and shoes.
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Marge Simpson
Her hair is made from bubble wrap spray-painted blue. For her necklace, I strung together large wooden beads and I had my mom sew a strip of elastic around the top of tube of light green fabric.
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Whack-a-Mole
This was a pretty easy, yet creative costume to make. I just cut 5 holes in the top of a box, taped a strip of tickets to the box and decorated it with markers. I made a padded mallet and bought a plastic animal nose. (Note: it's probably not the best idea to give a tween-aged boy a padded mallet.)
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Mr. Six
I'm not sure, but this may be a regional character. At the time, he was featured in all the Six Flags Great America commercials dancing to Vengaboys 'We Like to Party'. We tried a bald cap, but ended up shaving Austin's head completely bald instead! He carried a small tape recorder with him and played the song while dancing from door to door.
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Violet Incredible
This was a pretty cool costume I pulled together when the movie first came out. I made the Incredibles logo out of felt and hot-glued it to a red leotard, then I bought, red tights, black boots, gloves, headband, mask, and spankies.
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Spongebob
I first made this costume (many, many years ago) before Spongebob was a household name. I remember taking Austin trick-or-treating. People would answer the door and say stuff like, "Oh look honey, it's a piece of cheese!"
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Mermaid Man
A few years later, I revamped the ole Spongebob costume and got another year out of it. I just took a box, covered with foam, spray painted it and added felt and fabric touches.
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Phineas, Ferb & Gang
I got all 4 of my little ones to cooperate and dress like Phineas, Ferb, Candace, and Isabella. Thankfully, they didn't build anything crazy in my backyard.
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Edward Scissorhands
My sister came up with this awesome costume. Back in her "pre-kids" days, she used to win contests with her costumes all the time!
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Heat Miser & Cold Miser
From Rankin and Bass's famous 'A Year Without a Santa Claus', we have the heat miser and the cold miser. My sister made these for herself and her boyfriend at the time. Awesome, no?
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2012
Which brings us to this year which Clayton has dubbed "The Worst Halloween Ever". Lex wore an old cheer uniform, Brooklyn wore a dress from her dress-up box, and Clay wore a mummy costume passed down to us by my friend Ginny who originally made it for her son. I'm officially all out of creativeness.
I don’t always waste time, but when I do, I enjoy playing on Facebook. Come with me, my friend.
If you liked this, here are some more favorites from Dawn.
Ahhh, the Good Ole Days: Dodgeball, Monkey Bars, and Other Long-Lost Schoolyard Games
ADHD: To Medicate or Not to Medicate? How You Can Decide
Momgenuity: Resourceful mom moments that will make you proud
Wow, that was a great collection of pictures! Thank you so much for sharing them. Sorry you are in a place right now where you don’t get to flex those creative muscles at Halloween. It’s so frustrating to know what you’re capable of and not be able to do it. I remember when my husband was deployed the first time and I had to get store bought elements for my kid’s costume instead of making it all and I felt like I wasn’t being the kind of mom I wanted to be right then. (I didn’t even get to take her around trick or treating myself because I had to be in too many places at once.) But you remain a great mom, even if you aren’t getting as much use out of that glue gun. Maybe next year!
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http://the-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/2012/11/lice-ewwwww.html
It helps to reframe your reference. I usually beat myself up about my work as a Girl Scout volunteer (troop leader, Service Unit Manager, et al.). So instead of trying to instantly be the best ever and worry about what I’m not doing, I just focus on doing better than last year.
And it’s time they figure out their own costumes. My daughter is 12 and still goes out. But the last few years, she’s planned and executed them herself. I help when she needs help with a technique, and last year we took her to my sister-in-law to help with a particularly tricky piece of headgear.
You don’t need psychiatric help, you need to learn kindness and forgiveness! You’re a pro at both when it comes to other people, but when it comes to yourself… some learning is in order :) But you can do it, I’m sure of it!
You’re awesome, and your kids are awesome, and I’m pretty sure they will grow into well-adjusted adults. Thanks for posting all the pictures. Pretty cool!
Your costumes are wonderful! While perusing the pictures I kept trying to figure out which kid was in the awesome scare crow costume, ha ha!
Funny, my two oldest also said this was the worst Halloween ever! For the first time in years, I actually bought my oldest costume from an online company- and though it wasn’t her first choice, looked really cute on her! She did her hair like the girl’s in the package photo and everything. I am not totally sure then why she was so miserable treat-or-treating. I think she’s getting to that age where she didn’t want to be walking around with mom and dad trick-or-treating. Then my son, he didn’t have any ideas that I’d agree to, so a few days before I suggested he be a Cheeto (he had an orange sheet- I figured I’d just wrap him up in that). He was all for it, until I did it, and he hated it. So after posting the picture to FB, he changed to a football jersey and put on a play football helmet. Then, my youngest, had an old dress-up outfit all planned out, but after she put it on we realized it was too small! Then she tried another one, too small. I had to beg her to wear the only one I KNEW would fit. Thankfully she did. So yep, not exactly our best Halloween. Here’s to the kids only remembering the good ones!
You are far to hard on yourself! Those pictures of when you were good mom are great, but that doesnt mean you are a bad mom now. Im sure it sucks not being able to or want to get that creative anymore, but you did it when you could and thats more than a lot of moms can say, even most stay home moms dont get that creative. You got 6 kids, keep up the good work!! :)
My recommendation would be to cherish the memories of the past and accept that today’s memories are different, yet still memorable. (Very Confucius-like, no?). And remind your kids to be thankful they got to trick-or-treat – Sandy screwed that for a lot of younguns. Mine are going tonight. And it’s still raining/snowing.
If it makes you feel any better, my daughter was a package of Lifesavers…a costume my mom made for my middle sister, and then my youngest sister wore it when she was little (one year when my parents were going to be out of the country at Halloween time and my mom didn’t have time to create a costume). My daughter is the 3rd one to get use out of that costume, all because I don’t have money to buy something from the store and I’m SOOO not crafty. In fact, my mom brought a whole box of old costumes to my house. So, I MIGHT not have to buy/figure out a costume for my daughter for next year either. Oh, and I know all about the “just throw something together” concept too. We’ve had princesses, fairies, and fairy princesses in the past with items from the dress-up box. My daughter even wore her flower girl dress one year. Definitely don’t beat yourself up.
Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not Martha Stewart in the costume department this year or even room mom. Your kids love you because you’re their mom and you’re doing to best to keep everything going.
I fall squarely in the “buy a costume” column. It’s great — quick, easy, and relatively low-cost if you hit a big box store in September.
We went back to Target this weekend to buy more at 70% off just so my boys can wear them around the house. They’re more interested in pretending to be superheros than worrying about who made the costume.
I’ve been working hard at letting go some of the things my mom did so well — perfectly made fudge, loads of Christmas cookies, a very clean house. The dust on the end tables doesn’t bother my kids. They would rather have me play with them than clean anyway.
I love the Phineas and Ferb gang!! And your kids looked great this year, too! No worries. I’ve NEVER made a costume!