My alarm went off this morning as it does every morning. Instead of simply turning it off and getting out of bed, however, I played my game. It’s the same game I play every day. It’s the same game I’ve played every day of my life since I can remember. Oh, the words might have changed a little over the years, but the game is the same. I run through various scenarios in my head in an attempt to buy myself some extra time in bed. I wonder what I can give up in order to sleep for another 5 minutes.
What if I don’t shower? How bad is it if I don’t shower, and (more importantly) how many minutes will that buy me? I’m not sure if this is a common thing or if it’s just one more of my many psychoses. I created a flow chart, detailing my thoughts this morning. What do you think? Do other people do this or am I just one of those people who shouldn’t have access to scissors or other sharp objects?
To read more from Dawn, check out her hilarious books Because I Said So (and other tales from a less-than-perfect parent) and You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth) here!
If you liked this, here are some more favorites from Dawn.