I completely understand why my car insurance nearly doubled when I moved to Florida. People drive like idiots down here. It’s probably why every other billboard and radio commercial is about accident injury lawyers. Before learning Old MacDonald or The Itsy Bitsy Spider, kids down here learn the 411-PAIN jingle.
I try to be calm and make allowances for the other drivers on the road. I remind myself regularly of the sage saying - What would Jesus do? But, you know what? Jesus didn’t have to drive on I-4. If He did, there would surely be another chapter in the Bible with a colorful description of how Jesus went postal on the other drivers, much like the money changers in Matthew 21, but you know, with guns.
Because there are far too many people who should never have been given a license (you know who I’m talking about, Mr. Drives-30-mph-in-the-LEFT-LANE), I’ve decided to provide a public service announcement on driving rules. No need to thank me; it’s what I do.
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So what bugs you about drivers? Slow drivers? Drivers who like to play Pole Position? Drivers who go along with their turn signal blinking for miles?
To read more from Dawn, check out her hilarious books Because I Said So (and other tales from a less-than-perfect parent) and You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and other lies about pregnancy and childbirth) here!
If you liked this, here are some more favorites from Dawn.