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Dawn Damalas Meehan

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Dawn Damalas Meehan is a single mom living in Orlando with her six children, ages 17 to 6. She's the author of Because I Said So and You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and Other Lies About Pregnancy and Childbirth). When she's not blogging, she can be found playing chauffeur, getting buried under a mountain of laundry, or explaining to her kids why they can't have an indoor Slip 'N Slide or a pet squirrel.

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You Might be a Mom If…

By Dawn Damalas Meehan |

“You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word “milo,” which is mean “apple,” so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word “portokali,” which mean “orange.” So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit.”

I love that quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. We’re all different, yet we have many things in common. I’m talking about moms here. Moms are a unique breed and we have much in common with each other. We speak a secret language only other moms can understand. We understand “mom behavior” that may baffle those who have never cared for a child. Moms understand the “Mom Purse”.  They understand how one could go weeks without shaving one’s legs simply because it could be dangerous to take that much time in the shower when there are small kids and crayons in the next room.  Moms get it when you say your maternity clothes are simply your clothes despite the fact your baby is in high school.

So, here, in no particular order, are a dozen things that set us moms apart from the crowd.

You might be a mom if . . .

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You Might be a Mom If…


…you’ve ever put your hand out to catch something your child spits out of his mouth, or wiped snot from your child’s face – with your bare hand. This is what moms do. I don’t know why this is, but ask any mom and she’ll tell you the same.

So, what are some of your favorite things that set moms apart from the rest? Add your best “You might be a mom if…” in the comments here!

Buy my book! Please buy my book! Please! My air conditioning bill is insane now that I live in hell’s living room.

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About Dawn Damalas Meehan


Dawn Damalas Meehan

Dawn Damalas Meehan is a single mom living in Orlando with her six children, ages 17 to 6. She's the author of Because I Said So and You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and Other Lies About Pregnancy and Childbirth). Read bio and latest posts → Read Dawn's latest posts →

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51 thoughts on “You Might be a Mom If…

  1. Kim says:

    LOL, loved this one. It is so very true though. :)

  2. Jen says:

    I’ve told my son “no licking the dog”, played “What’s in Jen’s purse tonight” at my weekly night out (among the odd items were a spoon, a toy tea cup, and a nerf dart), and can sleep thru my husband’s snoring but can hear the difference between my daughter rolling over in her sleep and rolling over because she’s waking up–down the hall thru 2 closed doors. He didn’t believe me when I said she was waking up, then she started crying 30 seconds later. Yeah, I heard her, because I’m the mom! I can also hear exactly what my kids are getting into in the kitchen. They think I have xray vision because I will yell “put the chocolate syrup back in the fridge! No you can’t have any popscicles until after dinner!”

  3. v1nce says:

    I don’t want any of that to happen to me; thanks for the warning!

  4. Sara says:

    You have ever peeled ravioli off the ceiling.

  5. Sara says:

    oooh and also if you have ever not been able to identify something sticky in the toy box.

  6. Korinthia says:

    When instead of clean you just expect things to be “clean enough.”

    (And my favorite thing in your list is having someone spit something half-chewed into your hand. My youngest will make the same face in your photo and you know that’s your cue. So gross. And I totally couldn’t have imagined myself putting up with that before I had kids.)

  7. mommynearest says:

    Your teenage son send you a text from the bathroom, which says. “Mom can you come in here?” And you are really afraid to go see what is going on!

  8. Veronica says:

    When you don’t care if your OR your kids are wearing matching socks…even though there are at least 100 pairs somewhere in the basement/laundry area. I live in sandels in the summer and my winter boots in the winter…I haven’t had matching socks on in over 10 years!

  9. Tracy S says:

    I love #12–the catch all one. I’ve sat through a lot of cold sports games. BRRRRR!

    I also love Phineas and Ferb: that’s a great show! :) Whenever my boys start to tattle on each other I say, “MO-OM, Phineas is….” (imitating Candace). It usually cracks them up and stops the tattling.

    One thing I had to say repeatedly to my youngest, that I never imagined myself saying was, “Seriously, get your underwear off your head NOW!” LOL

    The contents of my purse frighten me on a regular basis! :)

  10. Donna says:

    Love this! My contributions to “You could be a Mum if”:
    you have ever told someone ‘dog food is for the dog and I don’t care if you like it better than the dinner that Nanna cooked; put it down!’
    you have ever said ‘Thank you for washing your brother’s clothes but next time please don’t do it in the toilet bowl. Or at least flush it first.”
    your answer to “I love you mummy” is “What did you break?”
    your definition of a good day is getting through the whole day without any else’s bodily fluids on you.

  11. The Mommy says:

    You’ve said, “Because polite people DO wear pants in public, that’s why!” or “Stop licking the hymnal!” or “It’s not polite to describe someone as ‘old’. Yes, I know she IS old but please stop SAYING IT OUT LOUD NOW!”

    Yesterday my SIL (who is pregnant and who I gifted with your ‘You’ll Lose the Baby Weight’ book) saw my 2-year-old playing in the grass at a family reunion. She told me that she thought my daughter had a stick in her hair. I said, “No. She ate cheetos. And then twisted her hair around her finger.” I could tell from 35 feet away…

  12. Missi says:

    You know if you are a mom when you discover the odor emitting from your car is a sippy cup with old milk in it that has ended up under a seat. Then you just throw the whole cup away because you’ve learned to not open it up the hard way.

  13. lanette says:

    I’m not a mom but I did help raise my god-son. I realized I was more then just a god-mother when at around 2yrs he was sick & started to throw up in the kitchen on the rug…can you imagine?!! I put my hand in front of his mouth & caught it!! yuck!! I saved the rug though!!

  14. maggieb! says:

    It’s 2:00 in the afternoon, you are still in your pjs and the left over mac & cheese on the highchair table is your breakfast.

    You would rather sit on top of your child than let them papoose board them to suture his forehead.

    You know your a mom when your ten year old has the latest and greatest pair of shoes and your last new pair was scored before he was born.

    You know you’re a mom, a good mom, when everyone is safe & sound, tucked into bed, and you follow behind them. And it is 8:30.

    Good times…maggieb!

  15. Tanya in Ontario says:

    …when you realize you haven’t gone to the bathroom by yourself since the oldest was born.
    …when you dress your child in whatever is clean and then tell people that she dressed herself.
    …you can rationalize cold pizza as a healthy breakfast food. Hey….veggies, breads, dairy….not too bad!
    …you haven’t finished a cup of coffee in years. Or, you learn to finish it when it’s cold.

  16. Corie Gibson says:

    “You might be a mom if…”
    You can repeat every single line to every Disney movie you own by heart. And all day long you have Tangled songs running through your head as you sweep and mop the floor!!!

  17. Tracy S says:

    Oh Missi, I too learned not to open those old sippy cups with milk the hard way!! Totally worth the money to just buy a new one! I can have a doctor do a strep test on my throat all day long and never once have the gag reflex engaged, but give me a smell like that, and I’m dry heaving for a long time!!

  18. christy marshall says:

    i have a similar blog i wrote a few weeks ago. i LOL’d at your picture. been there, done that. alot. here is the link to some of my you-know-you’re-a-mom-if’s…

  19. ChristineH says:

    Ohhh sooo true!! Love me some phineas and ferb! I always say “kids, I KNOW what we’re going to do today” they get so mad when I quote their shows.
    My you know your a mom when you say this is “that is NOT the dogs bee -Bo(belly button), now go wash your hands”
    That’s a little gem from today. I know there are times I say to myself, those were words I wouldn’t have expected to say in the same sentence!!

  20. Pam says:

    Just all of you wait! It all gets better when you become a Grandma. You see your kids go through all that stuff, remember when it was you, and just smile. There is no greater feeling that spotting your granddaughter – she’s 4 -and see her face break into a smile and yell Grandma as she runs into your arms. Also my 15 year old granddaughter laughed at something I did concerning technology, gave me a hug, and said “I Love you Grandma.” And for my birthday they all came over and painted my bedroom. Nothing better than this time of my life!

  21. Heather R says:

    IF you’ve ever:
    said “Stop NOT touching your sibling right NOW!” (because they were doing the “I’m not touching youuuu!!!” “game.”)
    said, “I don’t care what your room looks like, just make sure there’s no food lying around, dirty dishes are in the sink, dirty clothes are in the hamper, and the door is CLOSED so I don’t have to look at the mess.”
    said, “Homework comes before playtime.”
    said, “I don’t care if all your friends have it/said it/are doing it. I’m your Mom and I said NO.”
    read “Goodnight Moon” fourteen times in one night to your toddler, letting him point out the mouse in every picture every time, just so he’ll go to sleep without fussing. And loved every minute of it.
    fell asleep watching TV while cuddling your youngster to sleep, because they didn’t feel good and wanted Mommy cuddles, and didn’t mind waking up three hours later with a crick in your neck, because you had that wonderful little child or baby hair smell in right under your nose, waiting for you to breathe in deep, cuz it doesn’t last forever.
    put aside the housework in favor of time with the kids, because all Moms know that, just like the poem says, “babies don’t keep.”

  22. Laura says:

    You know that hot vinegar will take fart-putty out of berber carpet….and hairspray will get pen out of clothes…..and peroxide will get blood out of anything……

  23. Kimberly says:

    I have been reading your blog for a long time (Since before I became a Mom myself). My munchkin is only 22 months old, so I still have time before I get to experience some of these Mom things. But I had to comment because just last week, I went to use the bathroom and found a dinosaur in the toilet!

  24. Elizabeth says:

    …you have smuggled food/capri suns into a swimming pool, movie theater, or amusement park because you refuse to pay ‘their’ prices for all of your children to get a drink and snack…packing a bag for the pool right now!

  25. Kelly Fabijanic says:

    1) I learned to sleep sitting upright with the baby on my shoulder because if I put her down she’d wake up and I’d have to start the nursing routine all over.
    2) Once said “we don’t put raisins up our nose,” followed immediately by “and we don’t eat the evidence.”

  26. Katie says:

    …..your in a airplane bathroom stall, holding a backpack (because a purse is just not big enough anymore), a small backpack (entertainment), a princess suitcase, a blanket, have stuffed bunny ears tucked in your pocket to “hold it” and holding a fast food bag between your teeth because the minute your sat down to eat at the airport between flights your 3 year old announced she had to go potty. You may be a mom if that is normal and you did not break down in tears because this is the 3rd airport of the day and it had happened at all of them!

  27. Anon says:

    How about, if you have ever EATEN anything that came out of your small child’s mouth! Sometimes there’s just no better place to put that wet piece of cookie.

  28. Beth says:

    Is it sad that I was able to relate to every single item and all in one day? I am exhausted.
    1. I fished out a dead spider out of my 11 month old’s mouth.
    2. “We don’t eat spiders!”
    3. I posted to Facebook “Penny is standing at the glass door saying ‘DAT! DAT!” to our dog. SO CUTE!”
    4. I love Spongebob and was sad when my 2.5 yr old moved on to Go Diego Go
    5. I constantly say throughout the day, “Did you poop?” to both of my children as I pick them up and sniff their butts
    6. I had goldfish crackers and half-eaten cream cheese toast for breakfast
    7. Learned how to get peanut butter out of my dress pants right before work.
    8. I have the mom purse! Plus an extra diaper bag.
    9. All I want to do is play It Girl! on my iPhone but as soon as I whip it out, my little boy wants to play Toddler Teasers Shapes
    10. I wait for my grown up magazines in the mail to have something better to read than High Five
    11. I wait until my daughters definitely shrieking before I roll out of bed — I don’t wake up for little noises
    12. I plucked my decorative seashell out of the toilet just this morning

  29. Elleah says:

    You think, “What’s the use of cleaning ever because it will all be messy + dirty again in a few minutes?”

  30. Heidi says:

    You can’t watch news on tv because you imediately start to worry about your child’s future

  31. Carrie says:

    thanks for the laugh, dawn. this is one of my favorite of your posts recently. :) my favorites are the purse and the phone apps. haha!

  32. Edie says:

    You know you are a mom when you realize you were either pregnant or breastfeeding (or both) for a solid 10 years!

  33. Melissa says:

    I have said “Do Not Lick the Cart” (target). And the rest of the shopping trip I was unable to focus because, why. but why?

    I have also forgotten to play toothfairy twice. The first time, no biggie. The second time, we forgot TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW. She bought my excuses but it’s pretty clear I suck at this.

  34. Holly Cornish says:

    You might be a mom if you have uttered the words, “because I said so”

  35. wendi says:

    i’ve done the first one so many times when i think my 14 month old daughter looks like she is going t spit her food out. Everyday is different with her eating habits , her favorite things could be the most things she doesnt like. She loves chicken but last night it was a “no”. she takes it out and will put things in my hand. it sure is cute. or when she picks stuff off the ground. even though that is different. You know you mom when: it breaks you heart when you see you daughter getting so big so fast but then you are excited to see her milestones that she keeps doing so fast.

  36. wendi says:

    I plan on not saying “because i said so” . ONe of the reasons was I thought it was annoying when i was little . I think there is more creative ways like i might just say i’m your mommy or i’m you mom”. I will say that when she says to me someday so and so can do that or go there how come i can’t. i will tell her i have different parenting.

  37. wendi says:

    i totally relate with #4, liking the kid shows. i like qubo, kids channel. I like the show marvin the tap dancing horse. My daughter loves the voices, the show and she must love the different animals. I love watching blues clues with her. when there was a clue she has clapped and pointed. ! i was blown away. she did her happy, excited sounds, “who!!!” that was one of the most memorable times i watched it with her.

  38. Autumn says:

    You have more toys on top of the refrigerator than isle 5 of Toys R Us….you go to work with a bunch of tough guys and a gun on your side but don’t think twice about carrying your extra ammo and extra mags in a hello kitty pink glitter back pack or you have ever rolled out of bed, headed to the shower and found a sticker that says “Awesome!” stuck to your rear end.

  39. wendi says:

    #1 wow! gosh i’ve lost count how many times ive put my hand under my 15 mth olds mouth. she likes to put paper especially in her mouth. so she knows if i have my hand under her mouth to take whatever out of her mouth and put it in my hand. its really cute too! and i’ve definitly wiped my daughters nose with my hand before but if we don’t have any tissue around .we have a receving blanket around that is definitly what i use because a napkin and a paper towel would be way too rough on her little nose.

  40. wendi says:

    #5, yep. ive definitly talked about poo before . it just depends on who you are talking to that makes it okay. of course i can talk about it to my mom and mom n la w. and hubby of course no matter what we are eating..

  41. wendi says:

    that is hilarous Jen!

  42. wendi says:

    go lanette!! ; )

  43. SNL says:

    Number 7… tell me about the gel/dryer… I have only washed one… so far…. advice? The rest of these, especially the purse made me split my sides with laughter.

  44. Musikmama says:

    My older kids know that I almost always forget to play tooth fairy. At some point they just take money out of my purse and throw away the tooth. And they will put money under the younger ones pillow because they know I will forget.

  45. Brie B. says:

    I recently had a conversation with another mom about Adventure Time… although my son is only nine months old, so I don’t have the excuse of, “Oh, my kid watches it.”

  46. Jennifer says:

    I love phineas and ferb!
    You know your a mom if everything is quiet and you get alarmed because you dont know what your little one is doing.
    You are unable to get together with your mom friends without having at least one potty related conversation.
    You ask your toddler what they are doing and they say ‘nothing’ and you immediatly drop what your doing to go put a stop to whatever it really is.

  47. [...] I wrote a post about things that set moms apart from the rest of the world. The other day, while sitting in the teacher’s lounge, I commented [...]

  48. Marla K. says:

    I had to snort at the dinosaur in the toilet because it reminded me of the freezer jeep! You read that correctly. Freezer. Jeep. We had it for 12 years because everytime I tried to get rid of it, my son would remind me that it was *his* jeep and that’s where he liked to keep it! (It was one of those color-changing matchbox cars – and he liked the frozen color for some reason.) I have to admit, it’s been fun to say to your friends, “What? You don’t have a freezer jeep? Gosh, I thought everyone did!!”

  49. Shannon says:

    How about a really severe case of mommy-pocket? That’s an advanced case of mommy-purse. In my pocket I had three rocks, a marble, a popsicle stick, five Cheerios, a doll shoe, a piece of action figure, three buttons from the remote, a graham cracker, gummi bears and a half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

    My son used to grab my hand and spit whatever was in his mouth right into my hand and then close my hand over it. Yuck!

    Something I never thought I would ever say: “Stop playing with that and put it away (my son’s wee-wee).” “Stop licking the car windows.” And the favorite, “We never eat anything we find in the toilet!”

  50. Susie says:

    Love this topic — so glad to know I’m not alone! Just yesterday, I warned my son: “Careful, you have a tambourine on your foot!” Oh, these things we end up saying…

  51. Kelly says:

    You know your a mom when…
    you say to your four year old son ” it’s not a toy…get your hands out of your pants.”
    you find your self flipping though the channels and stop and your favorite kids show….after the kids have gone to bed
    you can spell each word in a conversation as fast as you can say say each word.
    know all the McDonalds that have a play place and which ones are better then the other.

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