Broccoli: How Much Is Too Much?Allana Harkin
My children eat too much broccoli. But before you start snidely thinking “Oh goody for you, you lucky parent of a child who will eat green vegetables”, I must relay that broccoli is the ONLY vegetable my toddler will consume. I recently tried to hide a carrot under her bbq’d chicken and I might as well have asked her to eat a skinned lizard. And trust me, my neighbours must think I’m dipping her in acid instead of simply suggesting she, “try a tomato”. Even the baby is more partial to the pureed broccoli than any other vegetable. But only the “broccoli heads”. She lets me knows her displeasure that I’ve tried to sneak a stalk into the mix by whipping her bowl of green stuff across the kitchen. But so what right? My children eat the “super food”. Boo hoo hoo for me. But everyday? Isn’t that a bit much? It’s not like I create innovative ways to present the broccoli. It’s always steamed with a little butter. Could this be a form of vegetable abuse?
I knew I needed to do some serious research on this so naturally I posted my query in the form of a profound confessional on Facebook, and waited for others to do the work:
“I feed my children too much broccoli. Discuss.”
“I hate you”
“In what dimension of time and/or space could this be thought of as a problem?”
@AllanaHarkin. What’s your next question? “Is it possible my children are getting too much sleep, and as a result, my partner and I are having too much sex” ?
“I hate you.I seriously do. I un-heart you.”
Amazing. Many “friends”, and various complete strangers, also confessed that they too fed their children broccoli up to FIVE times a week. And many, like myself, felt slightly guilty about it. I wasn’t alone. But the general consensus was that the broccoli train was going to dry up soon enough so cram as much of the good stuff into their faces while the kids’ll still eat it.
Advice I can live with.
p.s. (from Sam) By way of a rebuttal, my children would not eat broccoli, nor any other green vegetable even if all they were required to eat was one microgram and it was delivered on the wings of a magical butterfly. They would not eat it if they were promised a pet unicorn that shat rainbow sprinkled chocolate droplets on command, and spoke leprechaun, and could teach them how to ride rainbows and could unlock the mysteries of the pyramids. They also don’t like red foods, orange things, foods that are yellow, blue, or purple, things that are hot, things that are cold, or anything that was grown anywhere at anytime on Planet Earth. They do, however, enjoy cheese crackers.
P.p.s (from Allana) Sam, although I speak leprechaun I do not have access to a magical butterfly nor a device that shits sprinkles. I do however suggest mashing tiny pieces of broccoli under a cheese cracker and then pointing at something, yelling loudly (with a smile) and the gently cramming it into their faces. Good luck!