In the wake of Justin Bieber running afoul of the law recently (arrest for a DUI, egging a neighbor’s house, abusing drugs, generally acting like a d-bag), a bunch of Bieber haters — which is to say, anyone over the age of 18 — have banded together to sign a petition requesting — nay, begging — the federal government to deport his butt back to Canada. The government is required to issue a response on any petition of more than 100,000 signatures. As of this writing, the petition has racked up 192,732 names! The American people have spoken! They want the baby faced thug ejected back North!
The petition reads: “We the people of the United States feel that we are being wrongly represented in the world of pop culture. We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing, Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked. He is not only threatening the safety of our people but he is also a terrible influence on our nations youth. We the people would like to remove Justin Bieber from our society.”
As delicious a prospect this is for any adult with a modicum of musical taste, it is highly unlikely this will happen. For the government to seriously consider deportation, Bieber would have to commit a felony — like steal a car or something (apparently, viciously beating eardrums over and over doesn’t count). And more than likely because of his wealth and fame, he’d have to commit a string of them. This is America, after all. As of this writing, Bieber is in the clear on that front. Then again, the week isn’t over yet (though egging a neighbor’s house is a “possible felony,” according to USA Today).
It will be interesting to see when and how the Obama Administration responds. Will they respond seriously or as a joke? They’ve been known to exhibit a sense of humor. In the meantime, the adults of America keep their fingers tightly crossed.