It was all so idyllic until I became a parent of a tween and my darling princesses were suddenly asking me to buy them thinly disguised fetish wear.
Call me crazy but I have no desire to see my pre teen daughter dressed as a naughty nurse or schoolgirl, a fairy tale character with garter hose, or in any “get up” that requires a set of handcuffs to go with. Like ever.
It’s like that Taylor Swift song.
“We are never ever ever, wearing studded black leather…” Or something like that.
Sometimes it seems like even the classics are ruined. When I see the word “Sassy” on a costume I see flashing red lights. As in red light district. Sassy pirate, sassy sailor, sassy schoolgirl… Danger! Danger! Sassy is often the opposite of innocent, yet somehow supposed to appeal to both parent and child as it is not “sexy. It’s ok for your kid to be “sassy” a full five years before it’s ok for her to be sexy. Don’t be fooled.
Let me translate “Sassy” for you, into a couple of languages:
TWEENESE: “Its so adorbs! You’re gonna look so hot! OMG Your friends will say you look sixteen. But what if some guy hits on you? Awk! Oh well…”
PROTECTIVEPARENTESE: “What the…?!! Putting on costumes like this and knocking on strangers doors? Are you kidding me? This is how children get sold into slavery! Where is Lisa Ling to do an investigative report when you need her? And where are the full body unitards to go under this crap? Wait, that scrap costs how much?!!! Hmmmm…. I wonder if it comes in my size?”*
** Note to the wise: Nothing kills your kid’s longing for a too sexy costume faster than your threat to head out in all matchy-match mother daughter garb with them. Don’t threaten it unless you mean it, and your significant other is ok with your “investment”. Odds are your kid will return their costume unworn. What you do with yours is your own business.
I’ve ranted about inappropriate costumes for tweens for over two years now… here, and here too. I’m not doing that this year. Instead I’ve enlisted my 12 year old daughter to help me come up with this set of costumes that are acceptable to her and her peers, and don’t require me to mail order a burka to go with.
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’14′
More Casa de Chaos adventures:
- On my personal blog MOMFLUENTIAL
- MOMFLUENTIAL ON TWITTER
- MOMFLUENTIAL ON FACEBOOK
- On INSTAGRAM via Followgram.
Don’t forget to like BABBLE VOICES on Facebook too!