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Confessions of Perfectly Imperfect Parents

Overall, I’m a great mom. You know, not every minute because that would be impossible. And overkill. Since you asked, I’d have to say my parenting style is a combination of laid back, over-anxious, sappy, sarcastic, loose, fly by the seat of my pants, tense, Tiger mom, French, Kung-Fu and Atkins with a little co-sleeping thrown in. Which is to say that I do what works for our family.

There are times that I soar as a mom; holding  dance parties with all three girls on the bottom of my daughter’s trundle bed, keeping a cool head when a strawberry yogurt smoothie is spilled on the couch, apologizing to my kids when I neglect to keep a cool head over a spilled yogurt smoothie on the couch, listening to a four-year-old’s knock knock jokes thirty times in a row without yelling “Jesus, that doesn’t even make sense!” Mostly I believe I provide consistency, love and affection to my kids to the best of my ability. But I’m far from perfect.

For example:

I’ve given ice cream for breakfast.

Sometimes I give in to whining.

A lot of emails asking for classroom volunteers go unanswered.

I once let Matilda eat a peanut m&m that rolled out of a candy machine and onto the floor at the mall.

I  let my kids watch Dance Moms.

Sometimes Elby gets to play games on my computer in lieu of a bedtime story.

My kids don’t bathe every day. In fact, Matilda recently went so long without a bath I’m ashamed to say she smelled homeless.

The whole lot of them eat Happy Meals once in awhile. And by once in awhile I mean  once a week.

My kids’ toenails have grown so long they’ve curled before I noticed. Yeah, I know that’s gross.

****

But you know, it’s all about balance. I don’t want to be amazing all the time or I’d be intimidating right? Whatever. I don’t need your attitude!

In an attempt to make myself feel better, I went wide on my personal blog with my confessions and asked other moms to give me some of theirs. The results were like a giant blue Xanax for my soul. The confessions come from friends, family, fellow Babble bloggers and even my kids’ preschool teacher (Giselle)! So read through them and then pay it forward by leaving one of your own in the comments.  I do so love comments. Mmmm comments.


  • I let him wear pink 1 of 24
    I let him wear pink
    I let my boy wear pink…a lot. Lots of pink! Next up: ballet lessons. I even had a mom tell me, "Aren't you afraid you will turn him gay?" Seriously. --Rebecca Hernandez
  • His reading material is questionable 2 of 24
    His reading material is questionable
    I let my kids read a lingerie magazine while going potty-haha! --Bonnie Jean Thomas
  • I give him his space 3 of 24
    I give him his space
    I let my son take over the bed. Yes, I let him co-sleep. --Damey Slavens
  • Cheetos for dinner 4 of 24
    Cheetos for dinner
    My 3-year-old twins just ate 75% of the puffy Cheetos bag for dinner. That's it, nothing else. And I sent them up to bed, and I think I forgot to wash their hands. I also just flat out refuse to play Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, and conveniently Hi-Ho Cherry-O is hidden far far underneath the couch where it will never return. --Kelly Piatt
  • I surrender the veggies battle 5 of 24
    I surrender the veggies battle
    Sometimes I don't even TRY to get my 2 year old to eat vegetables. There is no doubt in my mind she will refuse. Oh, and I let my 2 year old play with dog food because it keeps her entertained for 30 minutes. --Michelle Higgins
  • We have separate mealtime 6 of 24
    We have separate mealtime
    I let my 5 year old eat his dinner and watch a movie downstairs so I can relax after work and watch TV upstairs. I think that's a no no for many reasons! --Marta G
  • I skip homework 7 of 24
    I skip homework
    Lying on his homework sheet saying he did his homework for the week (he's in first grade, for goodness sake, cut him (read: me) some slack!) --Lisa Mozilo
  • I bribe with candy 8 of 24
    I bribe with candy
    I often give her an M&M or chocolate chip for every bite of real food she eats. --Darcy Davidson
  • I steal her sippy cup 9 of 24
    I steal her sippy cup
    Because I am too cheap to buy a new coffee " to go thermos thingy" I have used my daughter's super cool industrial strength sippy cup for my coffee several times and gone to morning story time at the library. When my daughter tries to take the cup searching for her juice I have to tell her, "No, mommy's coffee...not your sippy cup." Mommy needs her coffee. --Erin Sullivan
  • My boy pees in public 10 of 24
    My boy pees in public
    I let my 8 year old son tell me how sexy I am (to a point) and pee on the tires of his dad's car. For Reals. --Loretta Fox
  • My boy loves shock jocks 11 of 24
    My boy loves shock jocks
    I've let my 7-year old listen to the inane morning radio show for four years. And I let him believe it is "news radio" and don't even flinch when he brags to other people with "Guess what we heard on the news this morning?!" Likely, what he's heard involves something about threesomes or other age-inappropriate stuff. But if I quickly change the channel, there are a barrage of questions -- What's a threesome? Why did you change it? What were they saying? Why is this channel better? Can you stop talking and turn up/on the news radio? And for the record, a threesome is a "party with three people." Final admission? I am fine with him thinking that, too. --Jessica Ashley
  • He watches what he wants 12 of 24
    He watches what he wants
    My 14 year old son's DVR list. --Scott Lenz
  • He uses piles of toilet paper 13 of 24
    He uses piles of toilet paper
    Among the many things I am doing wrong with potty training, allowing my son's obsession with "paper toilet" to go this far might be the most frowned upon. He doesn't understand that boys don't wipe every time. Sigh... --Bridgette Gallagher
  • I still pack their lunch 14 of 24
    I still pack their lunch
    My girls are 16 and 18 and I still pack lunches for them to take to school each day. And they usually include a dessert and/or unhealthy snack. Pathetic, huh? --Jill Mullikin Bates
  • They stay in the car 15 of 24
    They stay in the car
    I sometimes leave my kids in the car while I grab the dry cleaning or pay for gasoline inside, as long as it's not a hot day and I can see them through the window... :( I know it sounds bad, but it takes 20 times longer to unload everyone ann get them buckled back in. Don't judge me!!! --Giselle Kumamoto
  • I let him dress up 16 of 24
    I let him dress up
    I let my 6 year old son play dress up in girls' (like princess) clothing. His favorite outfit this week is a leopard print leotard with tutu. --Mary McKenzie Rekosh
  • We co-sleep 17 of 24
    We co-sleep
    He climbs into bed with us about twice a week and we don't kick him out. I made the mistake of mentioning that to another mom at preschool- she blamed my age (I'm 24) for 'the mistake.' --Raquel Hinson
  • Living in sin 18 of 24
    Living in sin
    In my hood a bunch of people go to the same church. We don't go. I have zero interest in church, been there done that. We've also been together for 6 years and while we did get engaged and intend to marry, it's not a priority. We are both divorced. We each have kids, plus one together and our last one on the way. We would rather focus on our house and family than pay for a wedding. My fiancé rides a harley. We're both professionals and we live in a nice area, and we don't really fit in. --Cristina Gonzalez
  • I keep her inside 19 of 24
    I keep her inside
    Sometimes my daughter wants to go outside, but I encourage her to watch some TV or a DVD instead so I can stay inside and get some stuff done around the house. --Jennie Doran
  • Dinner for breakfast 20 of 24
    Dinner for breakfast
    She eats nuggets for breakfast because she doesn't like normal breakfast food. --Felicia Franks
  • I keep them up for daddy 21 of 24
    I keep them up for daddy
    My husband doesn't get home until 9:30 pm so I let my kiddos stay up late so they can spend time with daddy. --Sheila Walls
  • I bribe for lame reasons 22 of 24
    I bribe for lame reasons
    I bribe my son with chocolate sometimes. We generally don't do sweets at home so chocolate is a big deal when it happens. But it's happened a few times when it didn't need to. I've promised chocolate for the lamest reasons: if you let me strap you in the stroller, if you walk faster, if you eat the rest of your sandwich, etc. But sometimes I simply promised it because there's nothing that makes a joyful childhood even better than getting your little cherub face smeared up with evil chocolate. --Jowita Bydlowska
  • She sips Splenda 23 of 24
    She sips Splenda
    I let my 5 year-old daughters have a sip of my (possibly-carcinogenic-artificial-sweetener-containing) Diet Coke if I happen to be drinking one in front of them. I did it once, long ago, so the precedent was set, and it's a battle I just don't feel like fighting. Because I'm trying to enjoy my Diet Coke, dammit. --Jane Roper
  • I keep her up late 24 of 24
    I keep her up late
    I let Annie stay up much later than other kids her age because that will make her sleep later in the morning. Sometimes, I need more sleep in the mornings! --Heather Spohr

 

Want more from me on Babble? Try Butt Out of Jessica Simpson’s Belly or 8 Grossest Parenting Jobs

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