Pretending Not to Be a Zombie Parent (For the Kids’ Sake)
This is a post I’m writing on blind faith. I hope the words are coherent and legible. Heck, I hope I’m typing the right letters at all. After all, I can’t see my computer screen when my eyes still won’t open.
I did open them a couple minutes ago, barely. It took super human strength to do so. The clock said six…. something. It’s still mostly dark outside. Nobody should have to wake up this early. Nobody.
Yet in ten minutes, I’m going to leave this computer, splash some water in my eyes, and pretend that I’m wide awake. But that’s not all I’m going to have to pretend. I’m also going to have to put on the façade that I’m happy to be awake this early, that I’m ready for a great day, and that I don’t want nothing more than to crawl back in bed and sleep until tomorrow.
You see, in ten minutes, I’m going to have to wake up Noah and tell him that it’s time to get ready for school.
He’ll be grumpy. He’ll complain. He’ll stretch and fall back asleep several times. He’ll whine. He’ll whimper. He’ll declare that he’s “too tired to wake up.”
Just like I used to do when I was a kid. Just like I still do as an adult. Nobody likes waking up earlier than they’re ready.
But for some reason, when I look back into the caverns of history, I have memories of my parents being wide awake. Happy. Ready. Alive. Always when the first number on the clock was a six.
Could it be that they were putting on the same show I do every morning? Could it be that they also grumbled and groaned when they woke up, splashed water on their faces, and pretended to not be miserable?
After all, that’s what I do with my son, and if I do it right… he’ll have the same memories of me that I have of my parents. And that will help him be able to give the same memories to his own kids.
Because, let’s be honest, mornings just don’t work when everybody is grumpy.
Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing
PS. Would love your comments on this post. Do you put on a fake happy face early in the morning for your kids’ sake?
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Sometimes yes, sometimes no. My girls are both morning people and seem to naturally wake up at 6:00 even on the weekends. My son is a night owl like me, and the two of us would prefer to stay up late and sleep in as long as possible. I’d say a lot of the time I’m pretty honest about not wanting to be up but explain that if I can do it anybody can do it and they need to GET UP ALREADY.
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http://the-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/
Sometimes, it seems like my daughter is some type of mutant x-girl whose super power is that she needs zero sleep. I’m a night owl, and it’s tempting to keep her up and hanging out with a bowl of popcorn until oh-sweet-jesus-o’clock. I’ve learned my lesson on that one, though. No matter how late I get her to bed, 7am sharp is what we call “snuggle o’clock”. It’s when the munchkin hops into my bed and we snuggle until mommy is ready to wake up. Except mommy already woke up however long ago, when you hopped in the bed and began squirming around, very definitely not sleeping. Still fun. Lol
I am most definitely NOT a morning person. My grandpa used to sing “Good Morning Mary Sunshine” to me at the top of his baritone lungs when I was a kid. NOT funny! However, I’d give anything to hear him sing it now. Wonderful memories of a grumpy kid and a silly grandpa.
When my boys turned 8…. I gave up the ghost on this one. Yes…I released my inner zombie parent. Our wake up time is 6:30 AM…. and they have a lovely “CARS” alarm clock that goes off and tells them to “start their engines”… I hear it and it means I have 5 minutes till my cell phone tells me something similar, but not in cartoon terms. We have an unspoken deal….I pretend not to notice that they are getting extra video game time by “getting to it before Dad gets up”…and they pretend not to notice that Dad is….well…. a zombie…who growls….
On weekends, its a whole different story. They get up even EARLIER,,,and I get up even LATER. They day that I discovered they could get themselves up on weekends, get their own cereal…and entertain themselves…. THAT is the day I saw God. And He too was in his PJs.
Oh dear! I’m afraid not, but your memories of your parents have motivated me to try to fake it. (Can you send me a reminder mid-August? We’re out of school now.) I am zombie Mom who tries to be cheerful for the first few minutes – sometimes I even sing! – but usually ends up screaming at them to “GET UP!” because none of us are morning people. There are times I have dropped my kids off at school and driven away in tears because the morning wake up, get ready, get going was so awful and I know it’s a lousy start to their day.
I have to be at work at 5:30am, so I don’t see my kids in the morning (unless it’s a really bad morning). I’m not a morning person, so it’s a good thing that I don’t have to interact with anyone for a good while after I wake up. Weekends are rough, I gave birth to the earliest morning bird… she’s up before 7am no matter what and always hungry and will stay in my face asking for breakfast until I get up. It’s a struggle not to be a grump, one that I’m not always successful at.
My kids are up 5:30 every morning. Dosen’t matter what time i put them to bed always up at the buty crack of dawn. Thank god im a morning person tbough. I lay in bed every morning and listen for my 2 girls ages 7 years and 18 months to start farting. I know i have about 10 minutes till they are crawling in bed with me.
My mom used to wake us up….with the most obnoxiously cheerful voice….”goood morning!!!!! it’s time to rise and shine!!!!!!!” followed by ripping blankets off. She always was passive aggressive :D Still though, the memory makes me smile. We weren’t exactly cheerful.
We’re morning people here. The girls typically wake up at six something on their own, and run laughing into our bedroom. They crawl into our bed and we play together in bed (tickling, laughing, pretending bears are coming and we have to hide in our ‘cave’ under the blankets), or read books for as long as I can manage not to get out of bed. I’m awake and happy, just lazy. :)
But here’s my secret. I didn’t used to be a morning person. It’s been over a year since I realized my girls were, and I better get my act together or else every day would start out with me being a grumpy zombie parent, and I just didn’t like that. I told myself I just had to become a morning person, or else.
So I did.
I don’t try to fake a happy if I’m not feeling happy. For one thing, I’m horrible at it and I’m pretty sure my son can see right through the act. For another, I think its important in our house that we are all able to express our feelings, no matter how grumpy they might be. And I want my son to see that sometimes waking up early isn’t something I want to do either, but that we all have to do it whether we want to or not. Sometimes we will even make a goofy game about it called the “why I want my bed” game where we go back and forth saying things like “I want my bed because my pillow is still warm” or “I want my bed because the dog is still there waiting for me”. I think its good for him to learn how to work through his grumpy feelings, and leading by example is the best way to do that!
I hate getting up at 6:00. Or 6:30. Or 7:00. Or 7:30. I could go on. But, early to bed, early to rise…right? Ben Franklin sired tens of children (from a host of women), and that didn’t prevent him from getting his sleep.
I sometimes think that the invention of electricity allowed us to be irresponsible with sleep habits. If we just went to bed after the sun went down, and woke up when it came up, there wouldn’t be any zombies. But it’s just hard to turn the internets off! And for a blogger, it’s all that much harder, right dan? The fact that we feel like zombies in the morning…it’s sad, because we do it to ourselves.
http://raisedbymydaughter.blogspot.com/
I don’t fake it with my kids. If I’m tired, I let them see that I am tired and that I am still getting up to fulfill my responsibilities for the day. My goal is for them to learn that it is ok to not always be energetic and cheerful, but it is not ok to take it out on other people. At 10 and 4, they already know that it takes a group effort to the 3 of us out the door on time. They have also learned that when one of us is an Oscar (as in Oscar the Grouch) we all end up having a bad morning.
Nope, I never fake being happy in the mornings. Maybe I’m lazy but I just don’t have enough energy to pretend! My hubby and son are both morning people. But I’m the one who gets up in the middle of the night to yell at the dogs or put the Little Fella back in bed or whatever, then, despite the fact that I’m exhausted, can’t go back to sleep. So when I have to get up earlier than my body is ready for, I can’t do fake happy. Sorry Little Fella, you’re gonna have horrible memories of your Mummy as a cranky pants. I’m sure you’ll get over it :-)
scootershell.blogspot.com.au
I haven’t yet had to do this on a regular basis (since my son doesn’t go to pre-school or daycare) but I guess I’ll find out in August when he starts Kindergarten. I will probably only be able to get through the first week or two by reassuring myself that I can take a nap as soon as he’s on the bus.
I am NOT a morning person. Neither is my husband.
va-cat-at-home.blogspot.com
I think I may well be allergic to mornings. I wake every day nauseated and with a headache, no matter what time I get up. I’m not properly human until I’ve had at least a sip of tea, which helps my stomach and my outlook. My kiddo rarely wakes in a good mood, and the screaming alarm clock (er, child) just doesn’t start my day off right. My solution has been to *try* to get up before my son so I can get tea and a shower before I have to deal with him. As much as I hate to get up early, if I give myself a head start it makes the whole day better for everyone in the house. I haven’t come to enjoy mornings yet, but I have come to value that little time to get myself together while the house is still quiet.
Up until my son was 4 he would wake up with the most blood-curtling screams that I’m sure originated in the fires of hell itself. I made sure to NEVER wake him up before it was time. Then one day it all just stopped, my karmic debt had been paid. Now at nearly 6 he wakes me up by crawling into bed with me and chatting with that non-stop kid chatter we all love and hate at the same time. This is a MUCH better alternative.
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