Previous Post Next Post

Babble Voices

With

Dan Pearce

Connect with Dan

Dan Pearce is writer of the hit-blog Single Dad Laughing and author of the book The Real Dad Rules. Father to Noah, brother to nine, and thoroughly but barely educated on the street, Dan tends to hit nerves or funny bones with his (sometimes humorous, sometimes heavy) musings, rants, and calls to action. He lives with his son in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Brought to you by

A sink full of rotten yuck

By Dan Pearce |

You know, sometimes there are some seriously crappy sides to being a bachelor. Like having a sink full of rotten yuck.

I’m rather OCD when it comes to the dishes I use for eating. Because of that, I have a hard time eating off of anything that’s not disposable (oh great, I can already see the faint glow of the environmentalists and torches and pitchforks). Paper plates. Paper cups. Plastic picnic-ware.

Besides my OCDness factoring into things, I just hate doing dishes. Now, I know hate is a strong word. That’s why I used it. In fact, maybe hate’s not a strong enough word.

So, considering those two factors, what usually happens at this bachelor pad is this…

1) Noah or Dad have to use a real dish for some reason.

2) Noah or Dad puts their real dish in the sink.

3) Dad looks at the dish in the sink and thinks, no use doing the dishes when there’s only one dish.

4) Noah or dad have to use a real dish for some reason.

5) Noah or Dad puts their real dish in the sink.

6) Dad looks at the two dishes in the sink and thinks, no use doing the dishes when there’s only two dishes.

7) Noah or Dad have to use a real dish for some reason, this time involving milk (or some other disgustingness).

8) Noah or Dad puts their real dish in the sink with milk still in it.

9) Dad looks at the dishes in the sink and thinks, no use doing the dishes when there’s only twenty dishes.

10) Noah or Dad notice a funny smell filling the entire house.

11) Dad lights candles all over to get rid of the smell, still too stubborn to do the dishes.

12) The candles burn down to nothing and the house still stinks. Only it’s gotten a lot worse.

13) Dad looks at the dishes in the sink and thinks, it’s probably the dirty dishes that are stinking.

14) Dad pokes around in the sink and a giant whiff of something horrible knocks him out cold.

15) Dad wakes up and looks at the dishes in the sink and thinks, I ain’t touching that.

16) A week later somebody announces they’re coming for a visit.

17) Dad looks at the dishes in the sink and thinks, okay, it’s probably time to do the dishes.

18) Dad dons rubber gloves, takes a deep breath and tries to do all 52 dishes before he has to breathe again.

19) Dad can’t hold his breath that long and eventually has to take a breath.

20) The smell of whatever was horrible before got ten times worse and knocks Dad out cold again.

21) Dad wakes up.

22) Dad pours gasoline all over the dishes in the sink and lights a match to them.

23) Dad is done doing dishes for at least another month. Or until some other inconsiderate person wants to “drop by” “just cause they’re nice.”

Yeesh.

I’m afraid that one day soon the dishes will get so out of control that I’ll have to sell the house to get rid of them.

Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

PS. Do you hate doing dishes as much as I do? Do they ever get so out of hand that you need a gas mask to get near them?

More on Babble

About Dan Pearce

danoah

Dan Pearce

Dan Pearce is writer of the hit-blog Single Dad Laughing and author of the book The Real Dad Rules. Father to Noah, Dan tends to hit nerves or funny bones with his (sometimes humorous, sometimes heavy) musings, rants, and calls to action. Read bio and latest posts → Read Dan's latest posts →

« Go back to Babble Voices

Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Comments, together with personal information accompanying them, may be used on Babble.com and other Babble media platforms. Learn More.

26 thoughts on “A sink full of rotten yuck

  1. Beth L says:

    Yes – dishes are my least favorite house cleaning item of all time. Hate it! When you have a 4 year old snacker in the house dishes stack up fast too, sigh.

  2. Debbie says:

    My husband used to buy new clothes rather than do laundry.

  3. [...] >> I wrote this entry and published it on my Babble Voices blog, and I’m only allowed to post a snippet of it here. Read the rest of it on Danoah Unleashed >> [...]

  4. Kadie says:

    I HATE doing the dishes, too. My ex loved it. Kinda miss him sometimes…Anyway, I force myself to do at least the plates and cups and stuff everyday. There’s usually a pile of silverware in there until we’re out of forks, though…

  5. Kimberly Stoker says:

    I am OCD the opposite way. I can’t stand to let dishes pile up. I prefer they are at least rinsed or else those crazy food floaties happen in the dish water which is SO GROSS. I sometimes think my entire house looks cleaner if the dishes are all nicely cleaned and put away. I think we both need a dishwasher……and enough dishes to wait until it is full, lol.

  6. Rissa says:

    An easy way to help with the dishes, is to ALWAYS rinse them when you’re done. Soak them if needed in soapy water, but ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS rinse them clean at a minimum. Then food won’t cake on, and congeal and smell, and when you do finally get around to them it wont be so hard to clean them all, because there will be minimal smelling and scrubbing :)

    If you get in the habit, you’ll love yourself for it later ;)

  7. Cait says:

    Now, take that, and multiply it by 7 (which is the number of dish-using people in our house) and only two adults who actually *do* the dishes, albeit more frequently than you (ahem) seem to. We usually have a semi-weekly rotation going, but we both HATE dishes…

    My only pet peeve is when people fill a huge dirty dish (cooking pot, Tupperware bowl, etc..) with hot water to “soak,” and then leave it there for DAYS so I get stuck with the emptying and scrubbing of cold, nasty, greasy water. Mmmmmm, yeah.

  8. Amanda says:

    I have always hated doing dishes, but never more than when I was pregnant with my second baby. Just the slight whiff of dirty dishes made me throw up. My very inconsiderate husband didn’t think that was any reason for him to help doing any dishes. So, I would pour a bunch of soap in the sink, run the hot water and spray it for a couple of minutes. Then, if I wasn’t too busy throwing up I would finish washing them!

  9. CO Mom says:

    I don’t mind doing dishes. It’s an excuse to play in the water! That being said, I have a dishwasher and a husband who often does the dishes. I know….. I’m spoiled. But why is it so hard to put them away? That is only a five minute job. SERIOUSLY! It helps if I time myself on that one and see how quickly I can get it done. Apparently, I’m all about playing games.

  10. liz says:

    My ex husband hated doing dishes so much that he put them in garbage cans in his back yard. When he moved in after we got married I noticed the 8 or so garbage cans behind his garage when we began moving all his stuff ..what could be in all of these I wondered…cettainly not full of garbage…but they were heavy…..imagine my HORROR…full of dirty dishes of all kinds, forks, spoons, knives…multiple years of dirty dishes..good grief…

  11. Gary H. says:

    My main problem is I need two dishwashers: One for the dirty dishes and one for the clean ones.

  12. Michelle says:

    The right side of the sink is constantly full of crusty, stinky dishes. I’ve actually taken my boys out to eat to avoid doing the dishes, and invested in paper plates to limit the amount of dirty dishes. It’s the one thing I hate doing. Odd, considering I will scrub the toilet before I resort to clearing the sink.

  13. Hi!! I’ve never commented on here before even though I’ve been a reader for a few months. I feel you on this one. I can relate. I can even imagine the smell you’re referring to. Yuckers!!

  14. SingleMumtoOne says:

    Humourously written, but a very sad message. There is no reason to perpetuate the myth that all bachelors are lousy housekeepers, or that men can’t clean. Funny though it may be, there’s no reason to set another generation of boys up for failure as adults, and partners. My seven-year-old son has always enjoyed washing up (doing dishes), putting on the washing (doing laundry), sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc. We still have (mock) arguments over who “gets to do” each particular task. He would do them daily if given the choice.

    The reason for this attitude is not that he is some miracle child who obeys my slightest whim, or that he doesn’t have any toys (neither of these things is in any way true). It’s simply the attitude which was modeled for him.

    I was forced to do “chores” as a child, and the whole negative attitude around the activity made me hate them with a passion. When my son was born, I never used the words “chore” or “work”. Everything was enjoyable to him because it was simply an activity we did, either together, or alone if we felt like it. Regardless of how much I might hate an activity like washing up, I ignore my hatred, and find the fun in it, so he doesn’t take on my own dislike, and is able to have his own feelings about it. Unfortunately I have an injury to my hand at the moment, so I can’t do as much as I’d like (or need); he does what he can, but I do not expect a seven-year-old to keep the house tidy and clean on his own. We’ve been doing a lot of spot-cleaning lately. I actually look forward to the day when I can clean my house without pain, because, regardless of how much I hate “chores”, I do enjoy being able to walk without sticking to the floor, and remaining conscious and able to breathe sweet, clean air.

  15. Audrey Sheppard says:

    I absolutely hate washing dishes by hand and I wait until they get disgusting sometimes, too. I’m really gonna try not to though, because it wouldn’t be nearly as bad if they didn’t sit so long.

  16. Jessica says:

    YES I HATE dishes that much! I laughed because that scenario haaf happened to me a few times more than I’d like to admit… it’s not just a backlit thing

  17. MissK says:

    I am a girl and I’m embarrassed to say that this happens in my flat. I hate doing dishes and it gets to the point when the house does start smelling and I need to do dishes. I wish I was different, but I’m not. If anyone had to visit when my kitchen looked like that and my house smelled like that, I would be horrified and humiliated.

  18. Becki Jackson says:

    My brother and his family moved 15-20 times in the last 14 years, and every time we went to help them move, they would have a huge box (the kind a case of paper towels come in) full of dirty dishes.
    On the other hand, my grandmother did the extreme opposite. She would rinse out/off all the styrofoam or plastic cups, plates and silverware. She even washed/rinsed out the wax covered paper cups to reuse. No one wanted to have a “recycled” disposable things in her house.

  19. Heather Angel says:

    I absolutely Love reading your blogs. I always feel a certain kinship with you. But on the dishes, man, I think we may be twins who were separated at birth!!

  20. SAN says:

    Find a way to get a dishwasher. You’ll thank yourself. Rinse, stow, run when full. It’s absolutely worth whatever it costs, if at all workable. I detest doing dishes, and will sometimes throw even things I have to hand wash later in there so I don’t have to look at them.

  21. Tawnee says:

    I have the opposite OCD, I can’t put a dish in the sink without rinsing it out first. The smell of old milk and food knocks me out cold too so I rinse immediately and usually drop it in the dishwasher until it’s full enough to justify starting a wash

  22. carey says:

    I just have a thought… maybe the reason you have the OCD thing for clean dishes comes from the science experiments living & breathing in the sink. :) This is very funny though. I know as the mom of a toddler, there are always “surprises” waiting for me. Usually a milk sippy that didn’t get dumped out right away…it has actually caused me to get sick! Those smells could be used as a form of torture!

  23. Phyllis Barton says:

    If you don’t have cabinet space for a dishwasher, buy a compact dishwasher. They just sit on the counter and will even fit under the upper cabinets. They hold 4 place settings and work very well. I frequently run mine twice a day. Living in an RV I need to keep the mess picked up. It also helps to not have too many dishes.

    You must discipline yourself to put dirty dishes into the dishwasher immediately.

  24. Kelly says:

    LOLOLOLOL!!!!!! I love this post, Dan! Just way too funny!!! :D

  25. Genevieve says:

    I won’t tell you to just hand wash your two dishes when you’re done with them, because you already know that’s the easiest thing to do. :)

  26. Marilynn says:

    I finally had to use the bathtub to soak mine in. My mother wasn’t to happy when she came over and found out.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *.

Previous Post Next Post