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Diary of a Two Year Old And Her Pacifier: Part One

So far the "soo soo" is winning

4am – Open eyes, can’t find soo soo*…too tired to look so cry out loud until someone comes to put it in my mouth.

7:15am – Open eyes.  Stretch arms. Sing song. Whip soo soo.  Cry for soo soo.  Think about sleeping again.

7:55am – Tell everyone I’m up by squealing/laugh/crying.  Find combination of noises has great impact.

8:00am –  Look for soo soo.

8:05am – Hug big people who tell me to put soo soo in bed: “Soos is only for bed!”

8:07am – Put soo soo in mouth and walk downstairs.

8:10am – Stare at stuff.

8:20am – Eat Raisin Brown**  Put soo soo on floor for later.

8:30am – Beg for Princess Movie.  Mommy says no TV until later.

8:31am – Beg for Princess Movie.

8:32am – Beg for Princess Movie

8:33am – Beg for Princess Movie.

8:34am – Say “Princess Movie Momma?” 64 times in a row.

8:36am – Momma puts on Princess Movie.

8:40am – Ask Momma for copporn.  Momma says to me “POPCORN, POP POP POP”.  I don’t know what she means.  I ask for more copporn.  Momma gives me grapes instead.  I like grapes.

9:00am – Momma says “Potty time!” and takes off my diaper.  I say no!  NO POTTY.  NO PEE.  Momma says, “Okay, 2 minutes!”  I don’t know what this means.

9:01am – I poo on floor.

9:15am – Momma says, “Time to get dressed”  I get to wear underwear. Momma talks about underwear for a long time.  She loves underwear.  She really wants me to love underwear.  I love underwear.

9:20am – I pee in underwear.

9:30am – I find soo soo on floor.  Whip it.  Cry for soo soo.  WHERE IS SOO SOO?!

9:35am – Momma says, “Soo Soo is going bye bye” and that I should wave to soo soo.  I wave to soo soo and say bye bye.

9:37am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!

9:38am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!

9:48am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!

9:49am – SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOOOOO?

9:50am – Momma hands me soo soo.**

Index

*   Soo Soo – Pacifier, most often referred to as a “soother” in Canada

**  Raisin Bran – but seriously, it is Raisin Brown.

*** Example of Personal Failure – don’t even.

 

….to be continued….

 

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Check out other posts by  Sam and Allana:

Where Allana shows her old-timey side
Where Sam was an awful babysitter
Where Sam’s children make fun of her

 

 

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