Diary of a Two Year Old And Her Pacifier: Part OneAllana Harkin
4am – Open eyes, can’t find soo soo*…too tired to look so cry out loud until someone comes to put it in my mouth.
7:15am – Open eyes. Stretch arms. Sing song. Whip soo soo. Cry for soo soo. Think about sleeping again.
7:55am – Tell everyone I’m up by squealing/laugh/crying. Find combination of noises has great impact.
8:00am – Look for soo soo.
8:05am – Hug big people who tell me to put soo soo in bed: “Soos is only for bed!”
8:07am – Put soo soo in mouth and walk downstairs.
8:10am – Stare at stuff.
8:20am – Eat Raisin Brown** Put soo soo on floor for later.
8:30am – Beg for Princess Movie. Mommy says no TV until later.
8:31am – Beg for Princess Movie.
8:32am – Beg for Princess Movie
8:33am – Beg for Princess Movie.
8:34am – Say “Princess Movie Momma?” 64 times in a row.
8:36am – Momma puts on Princess Movie.
8:40am – Ask Momma for copporn. Momma says to me “POPCORN, POP POP POP”. I don’t know what she means. I ask for more copporn. Momma gives me grapes instead. I like grapes.
9:00am – Momma says “Potty time!” and takes off my diaper. I say no! NO POTTY. NO PEE. Momma says, “Okay, 2 minutes!” I don’t know what this means.
9:01am – I poo on floor.
9:15am – Momma says, “Time to get dressed” I get to wear underwear. Momma talks about underwear for a long time. She loves underwear. She really wants me to love underwear. I love underwear.
9:20am – I pee in underwear.
9:30am – I find soo soo on floor. Whip it. Cry for soo soo. WHERE IS SOO SOO?!
9:35am – Momma says, “Soo Soo is going bye bye” and that I should wave to soo soo. I wave to soo soo and say bye bye.
9:37am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!
9:38am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!
9:48am – WHERE IS SOO SOO?!
9:49am – SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOO SOOOOO?
9:50am – Momma hands me soo soo.**
* Soo Soo – Pacifier, most often referred to as a “soother” in Canada
** Raisin Bran – but seriously, it is Raisin Brown.
*** Example of Personal Failure – don’t even.
….to be continued….
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