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Disneyland for Dummies

Before and After

I dared Disneyland with my four-year-old twins and lived (thrived actually) to tell about it. Yes, you read that right. It was a daring move on my part given that I’ve only ever been to Disneyland with one child in the past and this time I was going with all three. But it had to be done because Jon’s sister was visiting from Massachusetts with my niece and nephew. We live in Los Angeles so how could we not go to Disney? I think there’s actually a law on the books that says if you live within 60 miles you have to go.

Sadie and Matilda had never been to Disneyland before and although they didn’t know what exactly to expect, they were pretty darn excited. There are a lot of amazing rides for the under five set but here are the ones we took them on (also, shout out to the new Verizon app that tells you the wait for each and every ride at the park among other things). I will be writing a few more posts to get in all the fun and possibly give you some tips so you too can show your children an amazing time at the Happiest Place on Earth. Unfortunately you won’t be with me so it won’t be quite as good but I’m sure you’ll give it your best shot.


  • Astro Orbitors 1 of 8
    Astro Orbitors
    I thought these little rocket ships might be too high and fast for my little ladies and at first Matilda got all the way through the line and then chickened out. So Jon went through the line with Sadie and when he got onto a ship, Sadie freaked out but Matilda subbed in and had a great time! She wanted to go on again but three times through the line seemed like overkill.
  • Astro Blasters 2 of 8
    Astro Blasters
    This is the Toy Story ride and Matilda who you may remember is basically a boy loves her some Buzz Lightyear. After the ride which is like being in a live action video game with blaster guns to shoot targets and bright flashing lights that could bring on a migraine in a weaker adult. I've got big time stamina y'all.
  • It’s a Small World 3 of 8
    It's a Small World
    Classic. If you haven't ever taken your kids on this ride you are probably a bad parent and should just give up your kids to social services now. I'm kidding! Give your kids to me and I'll take them to Disneyland to experience IASW. This thing is old as hell but really, it still holds up as a magical boat ride through the entire world.
  • Tea Cups 4 of 8
    Tea Cups
    I don't know what's happened to me in the last year but I can no longer tolerate straight spinning since I turned twenty-five or forty-five WHATEVER. I sent the girls on the teacups with their cousins. They all had a fabulous time and I didn't lose my lunch. Win/win.
  • Princess Pavilion 5 of 8
    Princess Pavilion
    Sadie was insistent that she meet real live princesses and if you know Sadie, you know she doesn't take no for an answer. The line was a bit long for a meet and greet but while I held our place, cousin Annie took Sadie to get her face painted. When she was done we got to meet four princesses including her fave Tiana and Ariel. Elby pretended she wasn't into princesses anymore but she lost her shit a little bit while talking to Aurora.
  • Toon Town Coaster 6 of 8
    Toon Town Coaster
    Okay, I wasn't there but Jon says that Mattie had the best time of all on the made for kids roller coaster in Toon Town. Her face pretty much says it all but she's been bragging about bagging a coaster ride since we got back.
  • Sleeping Beauty’s Castle 7 of 8
    Sleeping Beauty's Castle
    A perfect starter ride in that it's not a ride but a walk-thru where you can check out all sorts of scenes from Sleeping Beauty. It's not scary for little ones but makes them realize just how cool Disney is going to be.
  • Winnie the Pooh 8 of 8
    Winnie the Pooh
    A slow, sweet cruise through Winnie's Thousand Acre Woods. It's not scary and offers a great scene of Winnie having a crazy dream.

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